


september song

by calnben



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Sweet Home Alabama Fusion, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ben Mitchell Loves Callum "Halfway" Highway, Breaking Up & Making Up, Getting Back Together, Good Parent Ben Mitchell, Heartbreak, Hurt Callum "Halfway" Highway, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Jealousy, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:01:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 39,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27877289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calnben/pseuds/calnben
Summary: Callum and Ben were once a happily married couple that had their entire future ahead of them. A messy breakup saw Callum move across country to create space between them, space that lasted three years.Until Callum returns to Walford, determined to finally get his divorce.
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 156
Kudos: 287





	1. 01. we were so innocent darling

**Author's Note:**

> the title of this fic is named after september song by JP Cooper, woo! 
> 
> This fic is inspired by the movie sweet home alabama !
> 
> of course i've totally messed with the timeline here...But it's all good.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Returning to Walford was something Callum had never planned to do, 
> 
> But facing your past is something everybody had to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heya!! 
> 
> I hope you all like this,
> 
> everyone has the same personality in this fic but i've mixed up their backgrounds, e.g. Callum went to school in Walford and has known Ben for much longer. anyway, peace!

"Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?" Callum glanced up from where he was closing his suitcase, finding Oliver leaning against the bedroom door, a nervous smile on his face. Callum didn't blame him, Oliver looked how he felt. 

"Nah." Callum forced himself to smile. After all, facing everyone by himself, while it sounded daunting and he was absolutely terrified to do so, returning with Oliver would only make the situation way more uncomfortable. "Seriously, i'm doing you a favour by not subjecting you to it." 

Oliver nodded slowly, although didn't look too convinced. 

Part of Callum wanted to bring Oliver for back up since he was returning to a place that was once his home and had been for a long time. A place that he had abandoned without a second thought just over three years ago, with nothing but a backpack and a broken heart with him. He had left his family, friends, everything he had ever known and ended up in Manchester- because apparently that's what Callum did best, _running._

It had taken him a couple of months to get in touch with his brother when he first came to Manchester. Which he had felt guilt over, after all, Callum had just suddenly jumped ship and left London while forcing himself to forget about what he was leaving behind, deciding ignoring it would make it hurt a lot less. But when he had finally gotten in touch with Stuart, sure, he had gotten an ear full on why he can't just disappear without telling anybody- but eventually he had managed to get Stuart to promise not to tell anybody else where he had gone, determined to hide from what he had left behind. 

"And you think everything is going to go okay?" Oliver asked, dragging Callum out of his overthinking bubble. Callum wanted to laugh at that question, but had to remind himself that Oliver had never met anybody he knew back in Walford and was therefore oblivious apart from the small details Callum had discussed. But even those details were little, Callum preferred not to avoid talking about it at all costs, in particular the three letter name that he hardly ever said anymore. Which is ironic, considering that name had been the name that was so familiar to him. "Is he going to be mad?" 

Callum did manage a laugh at that as he lifted his suitcase from the bed and placed it on the ground beside his jacket, ready for the train. "Don't worry about me." Callum assured, "I can handle Ben." 

Well, Callum used to be able to handle Ben. 

Now? He had no idea. 

He was about to return to London and demand a divorce from the one person he thought he would spend the rest of his life with. He was going to have to go back and ask Ben to sign the papers, because Callum was finally ready to move on with his life- he had spent the first two years in Manchester mourning his relationship- the only relationship he has ever known since he met Ben near the end of their senior school years. And despite their love-hate relationship at the start, when they were just two dumb sixteen year olds, Callum had fallen head over heels for the boy that his brother had warned him to stay away from, because _his family is all types of messed up little bro, maybe not hang out with the guy that spends most of his time in detention_. 

And at first, Callum had listened to his brothers advice and avoided Ben, despite the sixteen year old noticing the way Ben would smirk at him every time they shared a class- Callum began to resent year 11 history because Ben would always sit in his line of sight. 

However, it was outside of school that Callum really got to know Ben. It had been when Callum was carting home a load of shopping that Stuart had texted him to bring home, ( _perks of working at a supermarket on the weekends)_ that Callum actually saw Ben Mitchell outside of school. And it was one of the places that he would never have expected to see the oldest Mitchell, a children's park pushing a one year old with pigtails on a swing. 

Callum had met Lexi when she was one, Ben had sat with Callum on the park bench in a tiny children's park in East London and showed a side of himself that not many others experienced- and from that moment, Callum was a goner. Lexi was the daughter of Ben and his friend Lexi, a one night stand when they were fifteen- and now she was here sat on Callum's lap and their relationship has gone from there. 

So, Callum was trying to come to terms with the fact that he was returning to Walford for the first time in three years, in order to legally end the only relationship he has ever known. 

"It's fine." Callum added, realising he had been trapped in his head for a few moments, he didn't blame Oliver for his clear discomfort with the situation. Callum hadn't exactly told Oliver much about his past, not because he had anything to hide but Callum had mastered the art of hiding from his own feelings. 

"And you are alright with doing this right?" Oliver asked, despite Callum already wanting to change the subject. "Getting him to sign the papers?" 

_The papers,_ Callum wanted to laugh to himself, because it sounded so simple, divorce. It always sounded like the best option until you were the person in the marriage, because they were not just _the papers,_ they were legally binding papers that would end Callum's marriage, something that he had been running from for three years now.

"Seriously, it's fine. I'll get the divorce." Callum said, although he was unsure if it were to Oliver or himself. "Ben will sign the papers. I'm pretty sure we both know that our relationship has been over for a long time." 

Oliver smiled, looking hopeful for the first time in this conversation. "And then maybe we can start planning our own future?" 

Callum found himself nodding, despite the feeling in his stomach. 

_5 years ago_

_"Do either of you ever regret it?" Callum paused from where he had been running his fingers through Ben's hair, both of their attention transfixed on the afternoon news despite it being a slow news day. And neither one was willing to get up from the love seat they were currently curled up on and the remote was on the other side of the room, so the news it is!_

_"Regret what?" Ben asked with a slight grumpiness to his tone, Callum knew he had been about to fall asleep from where his head was resting on Callum's shoulder, so Jay breaking the peaceful silence didn't encourage his beauty sleep._

_"Getting married young..." Jay continued, which Callum found ironic considering Jay was asking if they regretted marrying each other while they were basically joined at the hip, Ben couldn't get any closer to Callum even if he tried. "You got married as teenagers, do you ever wish you had waited?"_

_Ben scoffed, "Wait?" He sat up from where he had been pressed against Callum, "No, i had to tie him down before anybody else had the chance...Why are you asking Jay?"_

_Their friend shrugged, nervously biting at his lip- "I guess, i was thinking about asking Lola to marry me." Callum already felt joy at that idea- after all, he and Ben were already considered the old married couple of their friendship group- that's what you get for getting married in your teen years- it was only fair that now they were all grown up that Lola and Jay would join them in the old married couple club too- even if they were still only in their twenties._

_"And you are worried that getting married will ruin your relationship?" Ben pushed his friend further, knowing something was upsetting him._

_Jay nodded, "I guess." With a sigh, "We are in such a good place now, and i really love her. I'm just worried that she's either going to think it's too soon or that marriage will completely drain our relationship- i've seen enough reality TV, i know what marriage can do to a relationship."_

_"Hey! What are you saying?" Ben argued, but Callum knew he wasn't actually offended. "There's nothing wrong with married couples. Sure- the joint bank accounts, bills, arguing about leaving wet towels on the bedroom floor-" Ben paused to shoot a look at Callum, "But every couple argues- plus me and Cal are really good at make up sex-" Which was followed by both Jay and Callum sighing with a "Ben!"_

_"What i'm trying to say is...Lola is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with right? The person you go to sleep beside every night, wake up to every morning. Stop hiding around mine and Cal's and go ask her to marry you and stop third wheeling me and my boy-"_

_"Ignore him, Jay." Callum butted in, "What Ben is trying to say is...We are really happy for you both and think that you should do it, right?"_

_He turned to look down at Ben, who was back to laying against his chest, but he was smiling- and Callum was convinced he would never find a better sight than Ben smiling-_

_"Yeah, course." Ben said softly this time, "We are happy for you."_

Present 

Callum pulled his hood down the second he got off the tube, instantly regretting it as the cold London air met his face. He glanced around, seeing the same station that he had grown up walking through, that he had rushed through whenever he was late to school- or as he grew up, work. 

For a moment he just stood there and contemplated what he was doing back here, a place that held both his happiest memories- but also where he had experienced his worst moments. 

"Bro...I can't believe you've actually come." He span around at the sound of Stuart's voice, a smile instantly finding his face as he took in sight of his brother. After all, at least he knew Stuart would be happy to see him. "I swear you get taller every time i see you." 

Callum chuckled as he was dragged into a hug, holding on a little tighter than usual but if Stuart noticed, he didn't mention it. 

"You must be hungry after that journey right? You wanna get something from the cafe on the way-" But Callum was already shaking his head, because he really didn't feel like stopping by the cafe that his mother in law owned- as much as he loved Cathy, and she had loved him- he was afraid of seeing her again. 

Stuart seemed to understand as he picked up one of Callum's bags, "C'mon, let's go back to the flat." He encouraged, and that is something Callum could do. "I'm happy you are back, bro." 

Callum only wished he could feel the same way. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> xxx


	2. 02. i can barely breathe, when you're here loving me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coming face to face with his estranged husband went as well as Callum expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song: fire meet gasoline - sia x 
> 
> hope you are all good, thank u for the lovely comments on the first chapter!!!!

Callum looked around Stuart's flat- trying not to smirk at the bright pink and flower pattern combo that was plastered across the wall, which was so un-Stuart. Callum knew that his brother had finally settled down and married the apparent, _love of his life_ , Raine- who Callum was yet to meet. 

Although it was through no fault but his own. After all, when Stuart had informed him a year ago that he was engaged and planning a wedding, Callum had instantly dismissed the invitation to come back to Walford for the wedding. Not because he didn't love his brother, because he did, Stuart was the only consistent family member in his life ( _other than Ben and Lexi_ ) and it killed Callum to hear his brothers disappointment when Callum had told him he just couldn't face it. 

Because Callum had been weak, too afraid to return to the square he had grown up on because he was too afraid to face Ben. Too afraid to go to a wedding in the square where years before he had had his own. 

"Here you go, mate." Callum snapped out of his own thoughts as his brother stepped in front of him, pushing a cup of tea in his hold. Callum just sent him a thankful smile, trying to push down the anxieties he was feeling inside. 

Of course, Stuart must have figured out his own inner turmoil as he pulled out a chair to sit beside him. "So, how is it?" Stuart asked, breaking the silence once more. "Manchester."

Callum gave him a look, because he's lived in Manchester for three years now and Stuart has even visited him there. Sure, the first time he came to Manchester after Callum moved there, ( _ran away there, same difference)_ Callum had been a broken mess- curled up in the bed he had started to resent as it hadn't been his own bed- the bed at home he shared with Ben, the bed where he had the left side and Ben had the right. "I still like it." Callum confirmed, which wasn't a lie. Manchester was Manchester, a great city with great people- still didn't stop London being his home though. "I know you want me home Stuart, but my whole life is in Manchester now." 

Stuart chewed on the bottom of his lip, as if he was trying to stop himself saying something- eventually, he spoke up. "So you and this new guy- he good for you?" For a moment, Callum wished Stuart hadn't asked. Not because he didn't want to speak about Oliver, who was a great guy- a lawyer ( _essentially the opposite to Ben),_ an uncle to a bunch of cute kids that he had recently introduced Callum to- one of them had reminded him of Lexi and Callum had forced himself to push down that thought. Oliver was great, and wanted to marry Callum and that's why Callum needed his divorce- even if Ben had ignored every copy his lawyer had sent in the past. 

"He's good." Callum nodded, turning the spoon around in the mug. 

"Maybe we can meet him soon." Stuart suggested, a thought that turned Callum's stomach. The only person Callum has ever introduced Stuart to was Ben, because Ben had been his first in everything- his only until he met Oliver. When Callum had introduced Stuart to Ben, they had both been sixteen- Ben had turned up to dinner with a black eye, but with a smirk as he held out his hand to Callum's brother and faked an accent that would suggest he was from Chelsea, not East London. 

Stuart had sighed and turned to Callum with a blank expression, "He had to be a Mitchell, huh?" 

So, Ben had been the only person that Callum had ever introduced to his brother. The thought of him bringing Oliver down here was a whole other feeling- 

"Sure." Callum said a little too quietly, but put on a smile that meant Stuart wouldn't ask any questions. 

Thankfully, Stuart didn't have any more time to question Callum about Oliver as a women was storming into the flat, a bag of food shoved under one arm and a toddler on the other- ranting to herself until she spotted Stuart. "Ian Beale just nearly mowed us both down with his car-" She ranted, throwing the bag of shopping on the table, clearly too pissed off to notice that a whole new person was sat around the table. She placed the little girl on Stuart's lap before continuing, but Callum was too distracted by the fact that Raine was currently ranting about Ben's brother. "I'm sick of that man- i swear if i could i would-" She paused as her eyes finally landed on Callum, a look of shock plastered across her face before she replaced it with a wide grin- as if she wasn't just about to threaten to murder his brother in law. 

"You must be Callum!" She smiled, holding her arms out and Callum allowed himself to be pulled into his hug, a little surprised at how quick her mood changed. Although he did hear her whisper to Stuart, _why didn't you tell me to shut up?_ as she hugged Callum. 

"Nice to meet you." He smiled back, "Sorry i couldn't make the wedding."

She waved him off, still smiling. "Don't worry about it, it was a disaster anyway." Callum just laughed, before his attention returned to his brother who was still holding the toddler- "And this is Abby, say hi Abby!" Callum's heart melted as the blonde girl looked up and waved in his direction. 

"So, Stuart told me you've got a new man. Thinking about marriage, right?" She inquired as she began to unload the shopping, Callum still felt a little overwhelmed by her entrance so he took to the safety of his seat again. "So marrying a Mitchell the first time didn't scare you off then?" 

Callum knew she was joking, after all, she lived here- she would know Ben and his family- a family that Callum used to be part of. However, he couldn't help feel that same gutting feeling in his stomach at the mention of his failed marriage. They had married young, and were still young- sixteen year old Callum would have never had predicted this. 

"Raine-" Stuart warned, knowing how much of a sore subject Ben was to his brother- 

"Nah, it's okay." Callum promised with a small smile, "I just think it's time to move on, y'know? Our relationship is over, it's time our marriage is legally too." 

_aged 16_

_"Seriously, Lo, where are you going?" Callum asked, for the fifth time in the five minutes they had been walking._

_He was only being persistant with his questioning because he currently had a tea towel covering his eyes- secured by some duct tape that was definitely stuck to his hair at this point. However, Lola just continued to walk, dragging him along with her as her heels clicked along the pavement._

_After another two minutes they came to a sudden stop- and just as he was about to ask his friend why they had suddenly stopped and where they were- he felt the tape that was blocking his eye sight be ripped away- which ultimately led to him letting out a number of curse words until he touched the back of his head and was reassured that his hair was still there._

_However, the pain was instantly forgotten as he realised he could see again and he was looking right at Ben._

_Now, usually, whenever he saw Ben the brunette was forever in his favourite pair of combat boots, black skinny jeans and a leather jacket. Now, however? Ben was in a dark burgundy suit, a nice pair of black shoes and his hair perfectly placed- and to top it all off, he was smiling._

_"Wha-" Callum started because he was confused,_

_"You wanted to go to prom, right?" Ben started, and they both knew the answer to that. They had just finished year 11 at school, officially no longer senior school students anymore- which meant one thing, prom. Callum had tried for months before prom to get Ben to go with him, after all- all Callum's friends were going- including Lola and Jay, but Ben refused, stating that not even Callum could get him into a suit, and prom was just a stupid concept and Ben hated most people at school and hated school-_

_But here Ben was, stood in a full suit- Jay stood beside him in a suit of his own._

_Of course, Callum and Lola were both already ready dressed for prom. In typical Lola style she wore a puffy neon pink dress, her hair pulled on top of her head while Callum's suit was dark blue- with a burgundy tie._

_Callum knew in that moment he loved Ben Mitchell._

_"Seriously?" Callum asked in awe, watching as Ben walked towards him, as if he was the coolest sixteen year old in England. Callum would vouch that he was._

_"Yeah, babe." Ben said, as if it was a matter of fact. He threw an arm around Callum's shoulders, standing on his tip toes a little to do so- "I couldn't have you going to prom alone, think of all those people who would try dance with you...they don't have a chance with you."_

_Callum grinned as he pressed his forehead to Ben's, blissfully ignoring how Lola and Jay were calling them out for being sappy-_

_Because if Callum was going to be sappy with anybody, he was glad it was Ben._

Present 

It had taken Callum another hour to force himself out of the comfort of his brothers flat, and even then he kept stopping whenever he started walking in the direction of his old house. Thankfully, he had Stuart to tell him that Ben still lived in their home, which meant that he wouldn't struggle to find him. 

Callum knew Ben was going to play dirty here- which meant Callum had to put his game face on and fight fire with fire- as much as he just wanted to get the hell out of this city all over again. If he was really going to start his new life with Oliver, ending this marriage was what he had to do. 

The second he walked across the square and spotted his house- his old house, correction- Callum froze because Ben was stood there. Thankfully, he had his back to Callum, but he was wearing overalls- clearly working at the arches. Callum watched as Ben stood up from tying the laces of his boots, brushing the escaped strand of hair from his forehead as he looked around as if he sensed someones eyes on him. 

Callum cringed as Ben's eyes found him, and the blank expression turned into one of utter betrayal, eyes narrowed, mouth in a straight line. 

And then it was being replaced with a look of amusement, typical Ben. 

"Well, look who came crawling back..." Ben started, crossing his arms over his chest, smirk hiding any hurt he felt- if he felt any. Maybe Ben and him were just supposed to hate each other. "What do you want?" 

Callum forced himself to take a breath of air, refusing to back down as Ben stared back at him as if they were about to go to war. _Don't get married kids!_ Callum thought to himself, look what it did to them. 

A couple of moments passed in silence, before, "I need a divorce." 

Ben turned around and walked away. 


	3. 03. i never thought that we'd throw it all away, but we threw it all away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben reacted as well as Callum expected, it didn't stop him needing that divorce.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> scouting for girls - this aint a love song 
> 
> hope you are all good x

"We're closed." Callum sighed as he walked into the clearly open garage, spotting Ben in the corner, legs kicked up onto the desk and staring ahead at his computer. In other words, looking anywhere but Callum. 

"Says open on the door." Callum replied, arms crossed over his chest- because he wasn't about to back down with this argument. He knew Ben, and he knew what he was like when he didn't want to talk, Callum however wasn't looking to stick around. 

Ben looked at Callum for barley a second before he was pulling himself up from the chair with a sigh. For a moment Callum stepped backwards, unsure what Ben's plan was but he simply walked right past him- However, he made sure to knock his shoulder as they passed. Callum rolled his eyes when he watched Ben walk over to the door, turning the sign around so it wen't from _open_ to _closed,_ what a surprise. 

"Great." Callum nodded, "So maybe not we can talk." 

Ben chuckled to himself, scratching at the stubble that had built up over the years. "I ain't got nothing to say to you, _mate"_ Putting a clear emphasis on the word mate, something that Ben had never called Callum during their relationship. While Callum came across as the softy of their relationship, it was often Ben who had a handful of pet names for Callum- mate was definitely not one of them. "And i'm busy, so you know where the door is." 

"I ain't leaving till we've talked." Callum stated, standing his ground on this one. 

For a moment Callum had assumed that he had won, which was highly naive of him because he knew Ben and knew it wasn't that easier. But instead of entering a conversation with Callum, Ben grabbed a set of keys and headed towards the door. He paused, staring blankly at Callum until the taller man realised that he was waiting for Callum to step out of the arches. Since Ben was on the other side, this time he complied. 

Callum watched as Ben locked the door of the arches as he waited for the other man to make the next move. But in typical Ben style, without any words he turned around and started walking in the opposite direction to Callum, ignoring him when Callum called out his name. 

"Where are you going?" Callum asked as he caught up to the other man. He would actually prefer a screaming match with Ben now rather than this forced silence, at least then he could get out what he needed to say and then return to Manchester. Ben could hate him in peace then. 

"I'm going home." Ben stated. "I don't know where you think you're going." 

Callum was about to come back with some snarky comment when Sharon walked around the corner, the three of them freezing when Sharon spotted Callum and looked in between him and Ben as if she had just walked into a time portal and ended up in the past. Ben only paused for a few seconds however, before he was on the move again, barley acknowledging Sharon as he continued walking. 

Sharon looked a little shocked to say the least, but she managed a smile. "I didn't know you were coming back Callum." Before she added, "It's great to see you again." Callum recalled all the family meals he had around the Mitchells with Sharon sat at the head of the table with Phil, he also recalled the night she and Phil had fought and she had made a passing comment to Callum, _good luck,_ a warning of what he was getting into with a Mitchell. Naturally, as he did with most people when it came to their opinions of Ben, he ignored her. Now, years later, Callum was stood across from her with a bare wedding finger. 

"Uh, good to see you too." He forced a smile, his eyes glancing over her shoulder where he could see Ben storming across the square. "I've gotta rush, but i'll see you around." 

Many would consider it rude, but as soon as Callum stepped in front of his old home, the one he shared with Ben- the brunette couldn't stop himself from just walking through the front door. He shut the door quietly behind him, a clear contrast to Ben who often slammed it shut. 

The first thing he noticed was everything looked exactly the same. It was as if Callum had just popped to the shop for some milk that Ben always forgot to pick up, instead he had been in Manchester for three years and their home was the exact same. 

Callum smiled as he picked up a picture of Lexi that was on the table by the door, her hair was much longer than it had been when he had last saw her. She still had the best smile he had seen, her dad's smile. 

"Get out of my house." Callum almost dropped the photo as a result of Ben's sudden appearance. He was stood at the bottom of the stairs, glaring at Callum's hand that was holding the picture of his daughter. 

Callum placed the photo back down, hating the empty feeling in his heart as he turned his back on Lexi. A stark reminder that when he and Ben were in self destructive mode within the end days of their relationship, they took Lexi down with them and Callum had a whole lot of regret of his lack of presence in Lexi's life in the past three years.

"Legally...This is my house too." Callum pointed out, knowing fine well that his name was also on the print for this house. They had gotten this together, Callum had painted these walls, chosen the furniture because Ben had claimed that Callum was the interior designer in their relationship. 

Clearly, Ben didn't appreciate that comment as he stared back at Callum as if the man had just cursed him out. 

And then Ben was laughing. But not the laugh that Callum used to love, the laugh that was contagious and Callum loved to hear- it was cold and sarcastic and Ben looked pissed. "Your house?" He scoffed, "It hasn't been your house for three years, mate. So, unless you want to take this to court, turn around and don't show your face around here again." 

Callum just stayed put, choosing to glare right back at Ben as if they were in a stand off. 

Callum eventually sighed, "You can have the house, Ben. You have our friends, you have..." Callum paused, the ongoing feeling of sadness apparent in his heart as he continued, "You have Lexi. I just need one thing from you and then you won't have to see my face again." 

Ben frowned, silent for a moment as if he was trying to work out what Callum could possibly want from him. After all, it was Callum who started up a whole new life, the one thing Ben lost was Callum. 

"What could i possibly give you?" Ben asked. 

Callum shrugged, "I want a divorce." 

_aged 17_

_"I want to marry you." Ben's expression suddenly turned from looking like a nervous wreck, to somebody who had just won the lottery- because he was on he was down on one knee with Lola's shitty ring that he had just demanded she handed over to him, because this was a pretty sudden decision and he couldn't propose without a ring._

_But Callum didn't care, because Ben Mitchell, who was only two weeks from turning eighteen was down on one knee asking Callum to spend the rest of his life with him a year into their relationship._

_"Really?" Ben said, as if he was in disbelief that Callum hadn't shut him down and called him crazy, because they were so young and they were in a random park in the East end of London with their two best friends sat on the swings opposite, grinning like a pair of cheshire cats. "Was that a yes?" He repeated, just to make sure._

_But Callum was nodding, leaning down to grab a hold of Ben's hoodie and pulled him up from his place on the floor. Ben didn't care that his knees were soaked from the floor, or that it was starting to rain again- he just allowed himself to be pulled into Callum's arms as he leant up to kiss the taller man, grinning into the kiss when he heard the cheers from both Jay and Lola._

_He knew that in about five minutes Lola would ask for her ring back and he would have to actually find one for Callum, but right now, this was the happiest he's been._

Present 

Ben just stared at Callum, showing little emotion in response to Callum's request. He couldn't decide if that was a good thing or bad. 

"Ben-" Callum started again with a sigh. He really wanted this divorce to be easy, he had grown up with two parents that hated each other and their divorce was enough to put anybody off marriage. Apparently it hadn't put Callum off since he went ahead and married Ben, against any protest that unimportant family members may have shown. His dad had hated Ben, and hated the fact that Callum was gay- sixteen year old Callum had turned his back on his so-called father and chose Ben. At least he always had Stuart. 

"So you want a favour from me basically?" Ben finally spoke, although looked smug as he did. 

Callum resisted the urge to roll his eyes, "A favour?" He added, "I want you to sign some papers so our marriage is officially over. I'm not asking you for a bank transfer." 

Ben shrugged, "I dunno mate, it's not like i need the divorce. Usually when people ask me what happened to my husband i say he's dead." Ben said, smirking to himself as he saw Callum flinch. "It's a great way to get people into bed...The grieving widow, little do they know my husband is alive and well- just a shame he's such a prick." 

Callum looked up to the ceiling, mentally preparing himself for this fight. Of course it would never be easy with Ben, what exactly was he expecting. 

"I don't need the divorce, Cal." Callum tried to ignore how Ben called him _Cal_ , clearly he had done it by mistake, but it was enough to grab Callum's attention. "After all, i ain't planning to ever get married again. You have put me off marriage for life." 

Callum wanted to remind Ben that from the age of sixteen to twenty-seven they had been the perfect couple, hardly fought, were joined at the hip. But sure, if Ben wanted to play dirty, Callum could be mean too. 

"If i'm so bad, why do you want to stay married to me, huh?" He questioned. 

Ben scoffed, but Callum continued. "The only reason you ain't giving me this divorce is because i'm asking you too." he continued, "You are trying to get at me, refusing to give me a divorce we both clearly want because you are being petty. We ain't teenagers anymore, Ben." 

Ben just turned around and walked into the living room. Callum took a deep breath, preparing himself before he followed him in. Callum bit his tongue at the sight of Ben sat on the sofa, using the coffee table as a leg rest while wearing his boots- something in the past that Callum would moan at him for. Because the _coffee table is for drinks Ben, not your feet._ Ben used to listen to Callum, however he doesn't think he's get the same respond if he tried now, so he pushed it down and stood in front of the TV, blocking Ben's view. 

"I have the papers with me." Callum stated, sighing when Ben leaned to the side to try get sight of the football match that Callum was currently blocking. "It'll take five minutes and then i'll be gone, you can have as many random hook ups as you want and hey- maybe even marry one of them." 

Ben just continued to ignore him, acting as if Callum wasn't currently being a human barrier between him and the Chelsea game- Callum decided that he preferred it when Ben shouted at him rather than ignore him. 

"You know, for as long as we stay married i have as much rights to this house, to the arches, to every little dodgy deal you do with your dad that i used to turn a blind eye too." Callum snapped, his voice raising due to frustration. "So why don't you do yourself a favour and sign the papers." 

Ben looked thoughtful for a moment, as if he was actually pretend to think about Callum's request. Callum knew better though, so he stood in front of Ben, waiting for the next snarky comment to come out of his mouth. 

"I ain't signing those papers, Cal." Ben said simply, looking back at Callum with a blank expression. "You married me and you left me, i ain't giving you what you want." 

And then he was standing up again, once again making his exit from Callum. He paused in the doorway, looking deadly serious as he stared back at Callum. "You should probably go back to wherever you came from, i ain't got nothing for you here- you made that perfectly clear when you left." Ben continued, his voice hardening as Callum tried to follow him, only stopping at Ben's next line. "And you don't go anywhere near Lexi, alright? She's _my_ daughter, you stay away from her." 

He watched Ben leave, the house suddenly silent. His eyes found a photo frame sat in the same place it had been three years before. On the side table there was a photo of Callum, Ben and Lexi- Callum and Lexi were grinning at the camera, however Ben was staring at both of them as if they had hung the moon and stars in the sky. 

It was almost hard to believe that used to be them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woohoo angst !


	4. 04. this is the way you left me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Callum attempts to fix any loose ties he left in Walford, while Ben successfully ignores him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy ending - MIKA
> 
> Hope you are all good :)

"Look, it's Ben...He'll be doing it to wind you up, bruv." Callum looked up from the interesting breakfast he had been given as soon as he had woken up. Raine was apparently very eager to get along with Stuart's only present family member, and apparently a pancake with a smiley face made out of blueberries was her game plan. 

Callum liked her already. 

"Is there a way you can force a divorce?" Raine asked from her spot across the kitchen. She was sat on the counter swinging her legs back and fourth, watching the two brothers struggle to figure out how they were going to convince the most stubborn man alive to sign divorce papers. 

Callum shrugged, as Stuart continued. "Give him a couple of days and he will have gotten over the shock of seeing you again." Was Stuart's plan of action, and apparently the only one they had now. Callum had the paperwork ready, all they needed was a pen and their signatures and they were good to go. 

But, "You don't know Ben like i know Ben, Stu." Ben was stubborn, in the past Callum had been the only person (alongside Lexi, _of course_ ) who could convince Ben to do anything. Now, he was pretty sure he had lost his ability. "I saw the way he looked at me, he's not going to do anything to make this easy for me." 

Stuart sighed, him and Raine having a silent conversation between themselves before their attention was returning to Callum. Callum who had his head shoved into his arms, trying to figure out what he was going to say to Oliver when he calls and asks how it went. After all, Callum had told Oliver that this would be an easy process, that Ben would be relieved to finally divorce him. Apparently, he was faced with a whole other dilemma. 

"Listen...Whatever happened between you and Ben, i'll be the first to admit that he would've done anything for you back then." Stuart sighed, and as reassuring as the words were, Callum felt a twinge in his heart at his words. "And that's coming from someone who tried to warn him off you when you were kids. He's going to calm down soon enough and this will all get sorted." 

Callum nodded slowly, despite not believing it himself. 

_aged 18_

_"Are you sure this is what you want?"_

_Callum paused from buttoning up his shirt to glare at his brother through the mirror. Stuart was stood behind him in his neatest best man get-up, Callum was pretty sure he's never seen his older brother in a suit until now. And even though Callum was going to be straightening his tie the entire day, he was happy that his brother had agreed to be his best man._

_"Stuart, we've been through this." Callum argued. They've been through it multiple times, yes they were only eighteen and hardly had enough money to their name to afford a small flat in London...But today they were getting married, and Callum wasn't going to let anybody put a downer on his day. Or Ben's. "I'm marrying Ben and there is literally nothing you can do to change that."_

_Stuart grinned, "Nah, i know." He confirmed, "Was just winding you up. Listen, maybe a year ago i would've protested you marrying so young...And a Mitchell at that, but if Ben makes you happy, that's all that matters to me, bruv."_

_Callum was just about to reply when he spotted Ben over Stuart's shoulder. Fortunately, he had a very successful poker face as he didn't react when Ben held a finger up to his lips before motioning towards the hallway, before he was going out of view again._

_"Uh, i'm just going to nip to the bathroom, alright?" Callum lied, patting his brother on his back as he passed him, thankful that Stuart had the football match playing on the TV to distract him._

_He barley had time to step out of the room when he felt a familiar hand reach out and grab his wrist, tugging him into the room next to his own._

_He quirked an eyebrow as he came face to face with a smirking Ben Mitchell, "What are you doing here? Isn't this bad luck?" Callum asked, despite the overwhelming happiness he felt that he was back with Ben. In fact, it was really Lola who had demanded they couldn't see each other before the wedding, as if they were the type of couple to ever follow tradition._

_Ben just shrugged, wrapping an arm around Callum's waist to drag their bodies closer together. "Bad luck?" Ben chuckled, "You weren't saying that when you snuck into our bed at 1am...I thought we were supposed to be sleeping apart last night, Cal?"_

_Callum rolled his eyes as Ben pointed out his hypocrisy. Apparently sleeping without Ben by his side was something Callum found impossible as he had tried to sleep in his own bedroom at home last night, but had eventually given in and snuck back into bed with Ben. What Lola didn't know wouldn't kill her._

_"And you weren't complaining when you were pulling my shirt off either but here we are." Callum shot back, watching as Ben's eyes glistened with amusement. Ben was a bad influence._

_"I snuck out of the house, Lola will be here any moment kicking off." Ben laughed, as he stroked the short hair at the back of Callum's head. Callum's head was titled down to accommodate their height difference, smiling down at his love._

_"We better make use of this moments peace." Callum whispered before he was attaching their lips, trying not to smile too much out of fear that he would break their kiss as Ben slung his arms around Callum's shoulders, pulling them impossibly close._

_When they pulled away, Ben stroked the side of his face, "You sure you want to marry me?"_

_Callum laughed, because Ben should know the answer by now. "More than anything." And he meant every word._

Present

Callum knew he should turn around and walk the opposite direction when he spotted Lola and Lexi in the middle of the square.

After all, he hadn't only left Ben, he had left them both as well. 

Just as Callum was about to make a swift exit and turn back in the direction of Stuart and Raines, he heard the familiar sound that he had spent years adoring, even if his heart broke a little with hearing it. He span back around the second he heard Lexi call out his name, and as much as he heard Ben's voice warning him to stay away from the little girl the day before, Callum had left her once, he couldn't make himself walk away from her now. 

"Lex-" Callum breathed out as he watched the little girl rush away from her mum and in Callum's direction. He barley had any time to prepare before she was throwing herself into his arms, and out of instinct, Callum lifted her up, pulling her into a hug despite the people from the stalls watching them. He could see familiar faces like Martin and Kush watching, looking surprised that Callum was back on the square most likely. Everybody would know soon enough. 

As Lexi clung onto him as if he was about to disappear, Callum forced himself to meet Lola's eyes who was looking at him with surprisingly no anger. Instead she looked sad as she stared back at him and Lexi. 

When he managed a small smile, he was relieved when she gave him one back. 

It was only when Lexi pulled back from their hug that he broke eye contact with Lola, his eyes returning to Lexi who was staring at Callum with a confused expression. "You've been gone so long!" She complained, a pout forming on her lips. 

"I know." Callum sighed, reaching out and pushing an escaped lock of blonde hair behind her ear. "I'm sorry i haven't seen you for a while...You've gotten so big, Lexi." 

She looked pleased by that comment, grinning as she looked over her shoulder towards her mum. "See!" she called out, "I told you i was big enough for make up now." To which Lola rolled her eyes at. 

"Are you staying?" That was Lola's voice now, an unreadable expression on her face. 

Callum looked apologetic as he looked in between his two favourite girls, suddenly regretting coming back in the first place. He should've stayed away, he had only brought back up past hurt. "I can't-" And at that, Lexi stepped backwards, a flash of hurt across her expression. 

"But why?" Lexi argued, 

Callum looked up at Lola with a helpless expression from where he was kneeling down in front of Lexi, his hand still holding one of hers. Before Lola had the chance to help him out, Lexi was continuing. "Why did you leave daddy?" She questioned, "I thought you loved daddy-" 

"I do-i did love your dad, very much Lexi." Callum forced out, desperate for the girl to know that he wasn't leaving because of anything she had done. Him and Ben had destroyed themselves, and Callum would never forgive himself for hurting Lexi in the process. 

Lexi's eyes lit up at the mention of Callum loving Ben, suddenly her voice sounded a lot more hopeful. "Then stay!" She urged, "Daddy is even more grumpy without you-" 

Callum didn't have chance to reply this time, as Lexi was suddenly swept up- Callum being forced to drop her hand as he looked up to see Ben staring down at him, his daughter in his hold. "Say goodbye to Callum, Lex." Ben said, despite Lola protesting in the background that _she wanted to talk to him._

Lexi just waved to Callum over her dad's shoulder, smiling at him as if she was oblivious to the tension around them. "Bye Callum...See you soon." She called out, as Ben turned away from Callum, only stopping when Callum reached out and grabbed his arm- 

"We need to talk Ben." Callum said, despite already knowing the answer he was going to get. 

"There's nothing to say." Was Ben's response, his cold expression turning into a smirk as he added, "I ain't giving you what you want." 

And once again, Callum stood there with little progress made as Ben walked away with Lexi in his arms, the little girl sending Callum a small smile over her dad's shoulder as he did. 


	5. 05. you think the worst is a broken heart what's gonna kill you is the second part

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Callum has known Ben since they were sixteen. That meant he knew how to love Ben, but he also had perfected the art of winding him up when necessary. 
> 
> Or, Callum plays dirty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song: six degrees of separation - the script (aka the perfect song for this fic)

"How is it? Being back there?" Callum wanted to tell Oliver, _well where do i start?_ But in usual Callum style, in order to avoid any uncomfortable questions that may arise as a result of Callum telling his partner that his husband was straight up refusing to divorce him, Callum perfected his best fake smile. 

"Not too bad." Callum lied, a hand nervously running through his hair as he watched Raine and Stuart busy around in the kitchen, his brother glancing at him with curiosity every couple of minutes. "Hows it back there?" 

"Been busy with work." Oliver replied, "Miss you 'though. How long do you think you'll be...Is your...uh, ex signing the papers?" 

Callum paused for a moment, realising that Oliver had referred to Ben as his _ex_ and while that is what he and Ben were, after all, Callum was in a new serious relationship and him and Ben were over the moment Callum said goodbye to Walford- Callum was still getting used to Ben being referred to as an ex, after all, they were still legally married. Ben was his husband- even if he was about to be an ex husband. 

"Yeah, don't worry." Callum assured, despite the anxiety he felt himself. "We've had a bit of delay...Nothing that can't be solved. I shouldn't be here too long, Ben is signing the papers." 

Callum looked up and saw Stuart staring right back at him, a look of confusion at Callum's clear lies on his face. 

Callum was somewhat relieved when Oliver told him he had to get back to work, the call ending soon after that- although, Callum was left to face a concerned looking brother while Raine shoved another _comfort_ cup of tea in front of him. 

"I'm guessing Oliver doesn't know much about Ben?" Stuart suggested as he pulled a chair out beside Callum, and Callum decided that he hated the pitiful look on his brothers face. "Because all that was clear lies...Unless Ben has decided to sign the papers?" 

Callum groaned and shoved his head into his hands, which was an answer in itself. 

"What am i supposed to say? That Ben refuses to sign the papers?" Callum added, "That my marriage did not end reasonably and when i said this would be a simple trip...I was lying." _Oh and the reason i refused to let you come down here was because i was afraid of Ben meeting you, of you meeting him, of introducing you to my life here._

He managed a smile when he felt his brother squeeze his shoulder in a reassuring way, the reminder that even after everything, he still had Stuart. After all, it was Stuart that Callum always ran to whenever he and Ben had a stupid fight that they would solve about an hour later because they couldn't bare to sleep without each other, still, Stuart would sigh and let Callum rant about Ben, knowing fine well that Callum would run back to Ben in an instant. 

At least, it used to be that way. 

When he and Ben split, Callum was convinced that Stuart believed Callum would return within a week, not expecting an actual breakup to happen between his brother and Ben. 

When his niece came to visit her dad, she had walked in when Ben and Callum had been arguing about something stupid. A dodgy job that Phil had gotten Ben involved in and Callum was making his disapproval known through an argument, which Zara had walked in on and gave her dad a concerned look. Callum had rolled his eyes when Ben had grabbed his leather jacket and stormed past him, giving Stuart and Zara a quick nod in greeting as he passed. Callum had heard Stuart mutter to Zara, _bet you a tenner they'll kiss and makeup in half hour._

Of course, Stuart had won that bet. 

"Listen-" Raine started, clearly sensing Callum's inner terminal. He was thankful that she distracted him from the memories he preferred to ignore, and fully turned his attention to her. "If Ben refuses to sign the papers, that means you are still married, yes. So maybe you need to show Ben what it means if he refuses to sign the papers- it means half of his house is yours, his car that you bought together, hell Cal, your name is probably on the deed of that Mitchell business somewhere." She added, "You need to play dirty here, Callum. If he's not going to give you an easy divorce, you're going to have to force one." 

Stuart raised his eyebrow from beside them both, almost smirking behind his cup of coffee. "What? Annoy him into signing the papers?" 

She shrugged, clearly not put off by that suggestion. "Nobody knows what the Mitchells get up to behind the law more than Cal..." She added, "He's been married to one since they were teenagers...You've learnt from the best, Callum. You're going to get that divorce, the hard or easy way is up to that dear husband of yours." 

The look that both Raine and Stuart gave him was enough to make the constant anxiety Callum was feeling return again, _so much for a simple divorce._

_aged 19._

_Callum sighed as he felt Ben pull away from his lips the second they both heard the exaggerated exhale from Lola who was sat across from them at their usual table at The Vic. Callum's hand stayed comfortably on the back of Ben's neck as his husband turned his head in a way he could see Lola, who was currently distracting herself by creating a tower of beer mats._

_They had successfully convinced her to get out of the house with the promise that Kathy would babysit Lexi, because according to Ben, "Lola you're nineteen and getting boring" to which she replied by running upstairs and finding her favourite pair of patent pants._

_"Can we help you, grumpy?" Ben asked, turning his body in a way he was slightly more comfortable looking at her, using Callum as a back rest in typical Ben style._

_She looked back at them both, a blank expression on her face before she was sighing, a pout that mirrored one of Lexis' on her face. "It's just...Your love is depressing me." She complained, looking genuinely offended by the clear sight of her two closet friends being in love. Which normally would amuse Callum, because he was used to people around them claiming they were the sickly couple that everybody resented because they were essentially 'high-school sweethearts' that were rarely seen apart. However, Lola had always been their number one cheerleader._

_Preventing Ben replying with some snarky comment that Callum knew he was capable of, Callum spoke up first. "What's up, Lo?" He quizzed, squeezing Ben's hip when the brunette looked back at him with a quirked eyebrow._

_She motioned behind them with a quick nod of her head and Callum followed her line of sight until he spotted Jay. Or, Jay sat talking to a girl that Callum couldn't say he had seen around much, and everybody knew everybody here._

_"Whose that?" Ben asked, as if he was reading Callum's mind._

_Lola shrugged, looking irritated at the mere thought of having to discuss the girl. "Works with him apparently. He's gotta train her up." Was all she said before she was quickly adding, leaning over the table so she could stare at them both to check they responses were genuine. "Do you think he likes her?"_

_"Well-" Ben started with a smirk, but Callum was careful to cut him off._

_"No way." Callum said, making sure his expression remained neutral. After all, Lola was looking at him as if she was about to go over there and knock the poor girl out if Callum said the wrong thing. "Right, Ben?" Callum made sure to make eye contact with his husband, as if he was mentally speaking with him to encourage him to reassure a clearly jealous and insecure Lola._

_Ben scoffed. "She's a brunette for starters." Ben started, "Jay prefers his girls with bleach blonde hair and adidas leggings- she's way too sophisticated for his standards" And even thought that resulted in a slap to Ben's arm, he got her laughing, in the most obvious Ben way, a reminder of why Callum adored him so much. "Now can you go get your own man so i can go back to kissing mine, you really are interrupting-"_

_And Callum didn't even have time to protest as Ben was already slipping an arm around his shoulders and reattaching their mouths. As Ben slipped his tongue through the gap of Callum's mouth, Callum was too distracted to notice Lola storming across The Vic and catching up with Jay._

_"Anyway, whats your problems with adidas leggings?" Callum questioned when they finally pulled away for air, Ben's hand tangling in Callum's slightly longer hair at the front. "Pretty sure you love adidas trackies-"_

_Ben rolled his eyes, "Yeah, so? And i'm pretty sure you love my sense of style." Was Ben's smug response. "Or, would you prefer a more three-piece suit who lives in a high rise and has never stepped foot in a police station kinda guy as a husband?"_

_Callum made a face, "Sounds boring."_

_Ben looked amused as he moved forward, going in for a third kiss with the content feeling that Callum would pick Ben over anybody in a heartbeat._

_Present_

Callum paced nervously around the living room, almost regretting using his old key to the house now that he was here. 

Although, technically, you can't break in to somewhere that you legally own half of, nor did he break in if he owns his own set of keys. However, stood in the middle of the living room that he had spent a good portion of his life from the age of eighteen, Callum suddenly felt like a stranger to his own home. 

He paused mid pace when he spotted the photo of Lexi in his most recent school uniform on the fireplace. She was the perfect mixture of Ben and Lola, a smile that Callum had missed while down in Manchester. He placed the photo back down in its original place, moving along the room and silently confirming that not much has changed since he was last here. 

Against his better judgement, he walked out of the living room and up the stairs, smiling to himself when his foot found the part of the stairs that always creaked. Nice to see that nothing had changed here. 

He pushed the door open to their-Ben's bedroom and frowned at the black checked duvet cover that had put on the bed. Something that Ben knew Callum would have protested again- _hey, that's most likely why he's done it!_ Callum thought to himself as he trailed his hand against it, accepting that it was soft enough despite the pattern. Callum stopped in front of his side of the bed, noticing that in typical Ben style, his side of the bed was still messy as if he had just crawled right out of bed in the morning and had gone to work- However, Callum's side was perfectly made. 

He couldn't decide if he liked that or hated it. 

He pulled open his side of the bedside draw, instantly recognising that everything was still how he left it in there. As if Ben hadn't even dared to look in it. 

Callum just pushed stuff around, there was an old keyring, some paperwork, a book that he had never finished because trying to read in bed with Ben in it had always been a difficulty, a half used bottle of lube, some old football tickets and a load of other things that reminded Callum of the life he had here. However, his eyes were mainly focused on a photo, a picture of him and Ben that had been taken when they must have been around twenty. Callum was sat on a swing that definitely wasn't made for two adults, but Ben was on his knee, grinning at the camera and looking genuinely happy. 

Looking back now, Callum wondered where they went wrong. 

"If i liked the police, i'd call them right now." Callum startled and dropped the picture the second he heard Ben's voice coming from behind him. He turned around instantly, spotting Ben in a pair of slacks and a button up, indicating that he had just gotten off work. Although, the pissed off expression was clearly because Callum was stood in his bedroom. 

"We both know you wouldn't call them." Callum shot back, reminding himself of the _fight fire with fire_ ideal that Raine had shoved in his head before. "And even if you did, they wouldn't exactly listen to you. Firstly, you are not exactly known down the cop shop as being a staple of the community. Secondly, this is just as much my house as its yours." 

For a moment Ben looked surprised at Callum's words, but his look of surprise was instantly replaced with a smirk, as if he was saying, _game on._ "Now who is acting all high and mighty. Moved away and suddenly morally superior, huh? I see." He pulled his tie off as he moved further into the bedroom, Callum forcing himself to stay put. "That's the thing with you Callum, you tell somebody one thing and change your mind the next." He sat down on the bed, moving to his shoes to yank them off- still ranting. "Are you just going to hang around places now? Because it wasn't that long ago that you did a runner, now you can't seem to stay away." 

Callum gritted his teeth, "I'll stay away once you sign the papers." 

Ben looked over his shoulder, "And what's in it for me?" 

"Not having to see me again, i'll be out of your life for good this time." Callum confirmed, "After all, i might have been the one to leave but you turned your back on us long before. You made it pretty clear that you would pick your dad over us a long time ago, let's not act like i abandoned this marriage." 

Callum swore he saw Ben flinch at his words. However, from the way he was sitting, Callum couldn't see his face. 

"Either give me my divorce." Callum forced himself to say, "Or, deal with me suddenly stalking you. And i mean everywhere, and hey, maybe i'll stumble across some evidence that maybe you and your dad ain't first class citizens. Or something like that-" 

Ben stood up, and for a moment Callum wondered where this was going to go, but Ben simply stopped in front of him, a smirk on his lips. 

"C'mon then, what's made you want this divorce so badly now?" He asked and Oliver's face flashed in Callum's mind. But Callum knew better, he wasn't about to tell Ben about Oliver, preferring to keep his new life separate from his old. 

So, he shrugged, "Maybe i just want to be free of the reminder." 

Ben chuckled at that, reaching down to pick up the photo that Callum had dropped on the ground earlier. "Reminder, huh? Is that why you were staring at a picture of us, trying to remember the days when you actually had a life?" He chuckled as he dropped the photo back in the draw, slamming it shut behind him. 

"I can't believe i married you." Callum found himself whispering, noticing the amusement across Ben's face. "I should've listened to Stu when he warned me away from you...But, hey i guess we all make mistakes." 

For a moment Callum swore he saw Ben's jaw clench, _maybe he hit a nerve,_ Callum thought. But then Ben was perfecting his usual smug expression once again, unbothered. 

"You can move away, start a new life away from here, try act better. Sure." Ben said, "But, me and you were brought up the same. Came from the same place, let's not act morally superior now, Cal." He pulled his shirt off, clearly not caring that Callum was still stood there, and for a moment Callum just looked back at him, trying to perfect a blank expression despite Ben being half dressed in front of him. Something that was inappropriate, considering Callum had came here for a divorce in order to marry Oliver, but instead he was stood in his old bedroom with his ex half dressed. 

Callum's eyes flickered to Ben's upper arm, knowing exactly what he was looking for as he spotted the small _C_ that was tatted there. Ben had gotten it when he was drunk and eighteen after Jay had dared him to prove to Callum how much he loved him, and the C was still there. 

Ben must have noticed Callum staring at his tattoo as his expression harded, the both of them looking away. 

Then Ben was speaking again, his tone undecided. "Hey, maybe your next marriage will be more successful." 

And for a moment Callum was frozen, staring back at Ben as if he had just punched him. "How do you know?" 

Ben shrugged, "You think i don't know why you are so desperate for a divorce?" He smirked, "What's he like? Lawyer? Aw, don't tell me he's a primary school teacher that volunteers at the library at weekends-" 

"You don't know anything about my life now, Ben." Callum corrected, but knew it was useless. "Is that the reason you won't sign them? Because i'm moving on?" 

"Don't flatter yourself Cal." And it was Callum's turn to clench his jaw. "Now maybe you should get out, after all, wouldn't want that boy of yours to find out you like being in room with your half naked husband...Even better, maybe you should introduce us-" 

Callum didn't let Ben continue, only walked out of the bedroom and shut the door behind him, using the silence of the hallway to slide down the wall and drop his head into his hands because he was _so fucked._


	6. 06. i had all and then most of you some and now none of you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes past feelings are not always easy to hide.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song: the night we met by lord huron 
> 
> \- i hope you all have the best christmas and are okay wherever you are xx

_aged 20_

_"You look so pretty, Cal." Callum smile grew instantly when he felt a familiar pair of hands land on his waist, pulling him backwards until his back met chest. Callum didn't need to turn his head to guess that Ben was tipsy, he could smell the mixture of alcohol and aftershave on his husband and the way he was swaying slightly as he he rested his chin on Callum's shoulder, tip-toes and all._

_"Yeah?" Callum chuckled, turning in Ben's arms so they were able to face each other. Confirming Callum's suspicions, Ben's face was flushed and he looked happy as leant forward to press a quick kiss on his lips. "You look pretty too, baby. Are you having a good time?"_

_Ben thought for a moment before shrugging, "As fun as you can have in a room full of Mitchells." He joked, just as a drunken Billy stumbled into them both before rushing off to the bathrooms of The Vic._

_Callum chuckled, pressing a kiss to the side of Ben's head as his eyes scanned the crowd, finding Sharon and Phil in the middle of it all, looking like happy newly weds. "They look nice, don't they?" Callum said as he pulled Ben against his side, running his hand through Ben's short hair as he sent a smile over to Lola who was dancing with Lexi in her arms on the mini dance floor they had managed to set up in the pub._

_"Sure." Ben said, although he sounded a little distracted as he traced a line along Callum's jaw. "We looked better when we got married, though."_

_Callum laughed, although wasn't about to disagree._

_For a moment Callum just watched their family celebrate the new wedding, a smile on his face which matched the content feeling. However, the innocence of the moment was ruined as Ben leaned in close to his ear and whispered, "You wanna sneak out and go have sex?"_

_"Ben!" Callum pretended to protest, despite the both of them knowing Callum loved every part of Ben._

_Ben ignored the protest and started placing kisses against Callum's neck, pushing his collar out of the way to kiss over a hickey that had been left there from their antics this morning and Callum had attempted to hide._

_However, the moment of bliss was ruined as Louise grabbed a hold of Callum while Bex grabbed Ben and they were both being pulled away from each other and onto the makeshift dance floor, the both of them lost in between the crowd. Although, Callum couldn't help but grin as he looked over Ben's sisters head from where she was forcing him to dance and caught Ben sending a smile that couldn't read anything but love._

Present. 

Callum pushed open the door of The Vic and felt nothing but anxiety with who he could bump into. However, his smile instantly growing on his face when he spotted Mick behind the bar. 

"What are you doing back here?" Mick asked, but the smile on his face indicated he was happy to see Callum as he walked around the bar and straight towards him. The next thing he knew he was being pulled into a hug by Mick. "I've missed your boat around here." 

Callum was only relieved that there were people around here that were happy to see him. "I've missed you too...Where's Linda?" He asked, realising only Tracey was stood behind the bar who he sent a wave too once he managed to catch her eye. 

"Picking Ollie up from school." _Of course,_ Callum thought, _life goes on without you._ Ollie was only little last time Callum had seen him, he was now at school apparently. "C'mon, let's get you a drink. Is this just a flying visit?" 

Callum pulled out his usual seat by the bar, thanking Mick while he slid a beer in front of him. "Afraid so." Callum smiled, "Living in Manchester now." 

Mick looked surprised initially, before he replaced it with an expression that tried to say imply he was happy for him. It was almost like the one Stuart gave him. "Down North, huh?" Mick added, "Anything good down there?" 

"I guess...I'm thinking about getting married." Was all Callum got out and he saw the moment Mick stopped drinking from his own pint to shoot him a look. Now, the look was unreadable as he stared at Callum for a few seconds before speaking up, "Tell me to shut up if i'm wrong but...Aren't you still married to Ben?"

Callum nodded, and Mick must have sensed his dismay as his expression softened. "Yep...Still married, my beloved husband refuses to sign the papers." Callum shrugged, "So, i guess i am sticking around a bit longer."

"Well...Not to make this situation even worse but your in laws just walked in." Mick whispered as he leant over the bar slightly, motioning with his head to the space behind Callum. Against his better judgement, Callum turned his head and came face to face with Phil and Louise, neither of them looking surprised to see him which suggested to him that Ben had already made his arrival known to the rest of the Mitchells. 

"Oh, hey." Louise started, a far cry from the usual greeting he would have usually got when he was with Ben. Although, she was still smiling at him- something that he wouldn't be getting from her brother anytime soon. 

"Hi." Callum smiled back, his eyes flickering towards Phil who was looking at him with a raised eyebrow, giving him a subtle nod before he was walking towards the bar, Louise trailing behind. When Callum glanced back at Mick, the older man shrugged, as if he was saying, _could've gone worse._

So Callum turned back to Mick and flashed him a smile because maybe he could handle this. 

Callum was very, very wrong. 

As the night passed, Mick continued to supply Callum with drinks that Callum should have started to refuse at some point- However, with the stress of his father and sister in law sat only a few feet from him and more familiar faces joining as the night grew, Callum decided he needed the support of alcohol. 

When Linda got home she gave Callum a welcoming squeeze, before playfully hitting him over the head with her leather pink handbag for not returning sooner. Which he did feel bad for, however, he didn't know how to tell her that returning before the three years mark would have virtually been impossible for him since he was convinced he would have broke down the second he saw Ben if it had been any sooner. 

But, he continued to put on a brave face that was quickly replaced with a genuine smile when Whitney came in, making her way around the bar to start her shift for the night. When she spotted her friend she mirrored his smile, basically throwing herself across the barrier of the bar to give him a hug. 

So, yes, he had the Mitchells sat behind him basically staring holes into his head, but it was okay. 

Until it wasn't. 

Callum knew something was up the second Whitney stopped mid sentence and he smile weakened as she looked over Callum's shoulder, shooting him an apologetic glance before Callum had chance to turn his head. 

It became pretty obvious as to why she was acting that way when he turned his head to see Jay, Lola and Ben walking through the door, chatting amongst themselves. It was Lola who spotted him first, her eyes lighting up for a second as if they were back in the old days when the four of them could actually hang out together. However, he saw her smile drop when she looked in between him and Ben, the tension rising as Ben followed her gaze. 

"Pretty sure this ain't your local anymore." Ben stated, but didn't give Callum any chance of retaliating as he walked over to the other side of the pub, Jay and Lola shooting Callum an awkward smile before they followed after him. 

When he looked back at Whitney she just pushed another drink into his hands.

Callum was laughing, slightly tipsy- sure, but laughing as Whitney and Linda continued to remind him of stories of when he spent a few months behind the bar. Each story reminded him of what a terrible server he had been. 

After all, he was often berated by Mick for spending too much time hanging over the side of the bar talking to Ben. Apparently working in your local that you husband constantly visited was difficult. 

He showed them pictures of Oliver and talked about how they met and what his life was like down Manchester. Whitney had even planned to come visit-

It was only when he glanced in Ben's direction did the smile fall from his face, instantly being replaced by a look of confusion. Lola and Jay were currently distracted amongst themselves at the table, too busy to notice that there was a guy basically hanging off Ben as the brunette waited for his drinks. Whatever was going on, Callum could see that the guy who was unfamiliar to Callum was interested in Ben, by the way he was talking to him, smiling at everything Ben said- and despite Whitney's sudden protest, Callum was stumbling off his own stool and making a be-line straight towards the pair. 

Ben was first to spot him, his expression hardening as he realised Callum was heading straight towards them. 

"Hi." Callum said a little too loudly as he squeezed his way into the space beside Ben, exaggerating his smile as he shot one towards Ben who was looking back at him as if he was crazy. It was loud enough to catch the attention of their friends around them, and Callum saw Mick motion for him to come back to them. But, of course, the alcohol in his system ignored his friend. "I'm Callum. And you are?" 

The other guy was just as surprised as everybody else, but shook Callum's hand anyway. "I'm Caleb." He said, but his attention to returned to Ben pretty quickly. 

"Oh! Am i interrupting?" Callum faked behind genuine, looking between Caleb and Ben with an innocent expression that Ben saw right through. Callum looked back at Caleb, who was looking even more confused. "Is this a date?" 

Callum felt a tug on his arm and he looked away from Caleb for a second to see Lola desperately trying to save this situation by removing Callum. However, he had made a promise to himself that he was going to play dirty and if Ben wasn't going to sign those papers, Callum was going to treat him like a married man. 

"You see, i don't know what your type is." Callum continued, shooting Lola a look that read, _i've got this,_ even though everybody in the pub knew he definitely did not. "But if it's married men. Then, congratulations, you've found one." 

A look of realisation dawned on Caleb's face as he stepped backwards, looking at Callum suddenly. "I had no idea he was married, i was only talking to him-" 

"I'm not married." Ben suddenly said, to which Callum replied with a scoff. 

"Not married, huh?" Both now completing ignoring Caleb, who was definitely not Ben's type anyway- _he might add-_ he pulled the documents out of the pocket of the jacket he was wearing, placing them down on the bar in front of Ben. "If we are not married, you might as well make it legal..." 

Ben's jaw clenched as he pushed the piece of paper out of the way. "Nah, i'd rather continue talking to-" 

But Callum stood in front of him, preventing him from moving away. "A blonde, really?" Callum said in reference to Caleb, his drunken state clearly bringing out a mean streak that isn't usually there. 

It was Ben's turn to smirk, "Yeah, i married a brunette once...Put me off them for life." When Ben went to move this time, Callum stepped with him, neither of them being able to stop before crashing into each other. Since he was already unstable as a result of his alcohol intake, Callum stumbled, expecting to fall flat on his face but instead a hand reached out and grabbed his waist, keeping him upright. 

"How much did you let him drink?" Callum heard Ben snap, the shorter man glaring in the direction of Mick and Whitney. 

"Im fine-" Callum protested, despite the room spinning slightly. He was convinced that if Ben let go of him now, he would fall flat on his face. 

"I can take him upstairs." Linda suggested as she stepped towards them both, a hand stretched out for Callum to grab onto. However, before Callum even had the chance to accept Linda's offer of him passing out in the spare room of The Vic, Ben was pulling his body along with him. 

"I'll take him home." Ben muttered, despite the protest from Jay who said something along the lines of, _maybe it would be best for both of you if you let Mick take him, Ben._ At least, that's what Callum thought he had said, the alcohol was clearly catching up to him now, the divorce papers and Caleb a distant memory as all he could think about was a warm bed.

Ben clearly ignored Jay's suggestion as the next thing Callum knew he was stood outside of The Vic, crouched down as he threw up the multiple shots he had accepted off Whitney only an hour before. He groaned as he used his sleeve to wipe around his mouth, regretting using alcohol as a stress reliever. 

And for a moment he thought he was alone, that Ben had taken him outside and abandoned him but then he spotted a familiar pair of combat boots from where he was staring down at the floor. 

"C'mon, it's fucking freezing." Was all Ben said before he was pulling Callum up right, and Callum didn't protest as he let Ben walk him back to Stuart's. Despite his drunken state, Callum turned his head so he was looking at Ben. 

Fortunately, the other man hadn't changed much in the last three years. However, his hair had grown out only slightly and he was wearing a new red jacket that Callum wasn't afraid to say suited him. It made difference to the old black denim jacket he used to wear from the age of sixteen. Ben must have felt Callum's eyes on him as the arm around him tensed, and Ben sped up his pace of walking. 

Callum didn't even look at Stuart and Raine to gage their reaction as Ben dragged him up the stairs of the flat. He heard Ben say, "Stuart...Raine." In greeting, as if three years hadn't passed and this was the most casual thing ever. Callum could hear Stuart asking Ben questions, but the second he saw a bed, he was falling face first onto it, despite being fully clothed. 

For a few minutes all Callum could hear was Stuart and Ben talking on the other side of the door, and Callum took the opportunity to close his eyes. 

It felt like hours, but in reality it had only been a couple of minutes when he heard the door open again and movement in the bedroom. "Stuart-" He complained, wanting to know what his brother was doing. After all, he was in a bad mood and was drunk, he was expecting the lecture of his brother in the morning, not right now. 

However, he felt his trainers being pulled off and thrown across the floor, a blanket covering his body that he instantly curled into. It was when a familiar hand touched his face that he found himself opening his eyes, having to blink a few times, however it was clear that it was Ben, not Stuart. 

"Ben?" He whispered, and when the other man didn't reply, Callum reached out and touched his wrist. 

He was surprised when he felt Ben touch his hand, before speaking up. "Go to sleep, Cal." Before adding, "You need to let me go." 

Callum glanced down to where his hand was still holding onto Ben's wrist, before he eventually let go of it, tiredly looking at Ben through half lidded eyes. 

Ben just looked back at him, looking equally as tired before he was standing up and pulling the blanket up to Callum's shoulders, the next thing Callum knew, he was falling asleep. 


	7. i remember you and me back when we were seventeen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Callum remembers what he loved about being in Walford, while his return to Manchester looms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow your fire - kodaline 
> 
> thank u for your lovely comments x
> 
> some reference to bullying in this chapter.

Callum groaned into the pillow the second his eyes flickered open. It was clear within seconds of waking that he was going to be putting up with a headache today, something that he often gained as a result of too much alcohol. 

However, he would much rather put up with the hangover than experience the flashbacks of the night before. He remembered catching up with Mick, Linda and Whit- getting distracted by being with his friends again who were happy to supply him with drinks. That part was fine, it was when Ben made an appearance and Callum's drinking habits turned from 'socially drinking' to 'i need to drink because my ex is sat across the room from me'.

"You're alive then." He flinched when he heard Stuart enter the room, a cup of what Callum hoped was coffee in one hand and a bacon sandwich in the other. At least he hadn't done anything to piss Stuart off too much last night. 

"Uh, sorry...Was i loud when i came in?" Callum questioned. He was unsure exactly of what time he got dragged home, however he was very clear that it had been Ben that had pulled him away from the drink...and had cursed everybody out for letting Callum get into that state. 

Stuart just looked at him with an unreadable expression before he was sighing, holding his phone out to him. "Oliver called. I answered, after all you hadn't answered in a while." For a moment, Callum panicked- because it wasn't like Oliver and Stuart knew each other and he was almost concerned about what Stuart would have said. Like, _sorry Cal can't come to the phone right now, he's hungover after being brought home by the husband he's supposed to be getting a divorce from._ Callum prayed that wasn't the conversation topic. Thankfully. Stuart must have read his mind as he added, "Don't worry. Told him you were still in bed, that me and you had too many drinks last night." 

Callum nodded slowly as he bit into the sandwich, although noticed Stuart still staring at him with a raised eyebrow. 

So he sighed, and asked. "What?" 

"Dunno, just wondering why i had to lie to the guy you are going to marry." His brother shrugged, leaning against the wall of the bedroom to stare back at Callum with a look of curiosity. Callum hated it, it was almost like he was a teen all over again and Stuart being the only family he had around at the time, was often the one to handle all of these types of situations. "That's the reason you are back here, right? To divorce Ben so you and Oliver can start a new life together...Or has that changed?" 

Jumping on the defensive, Callum sat up- "Nothing has changed." 

"Yeah?" Stuart looked far from convinced as he continued, "So why half way through me and Raine watching Doctor Who did Ben Mitchell walk through my door with you hanging off his arm last night?" 

For a few moments Callum was silent, unsure how he was supposed to protest against that- before speaking up, "I was drunk, my bad." Callum tried to defend, "Nothing happened between me and Ben. In fact, there was a guy clearly trying to flirt with him- Ben just brought me home." 

"And you didn't want anything to happen?" 

Callum ran a hand through his hair, a few loose strands had fallen onto his forehead as a result of the lack of gel and the bedhead. "Listen-" Callum added, "Why are you suddenly so interested in what i'm doing with Ben. When i first started seeing Ben, you told me he was bad news and basically warned him off me...And now what are you implying? That i'm not serious about Oliver?" 

Stuart went to protest, however it was Raine that answered for him, sensing the rising tension between the two brothers and wanting to defuse the situation. "Stu loves you more than anything on this planet, Callum. Trust me, the first night he met he talked about his amazing little brother he missed so much." She started, walking further into the room until she could place a comforting hand on Stuart's shoulder. "You know he just wants you to be happy, that's the only reason he's asking." 

Stuart nodded, clearly supporting what Raine was saying and Callum found himself feeling guilty for suddenly snapping at Stuart- After all, he had always been the one consistent thing in his life. 

"Nothing happened between me and Ben." He said, which was the truth. 

"But you would tell me, if something was upsetting you...Right?" Stuart asked, his eyes sad as he looked back at Callum who was avoiding all eye contact, instead staring at his hand where his wedding ring used to sit. The wedding ring that was somewhere in this house, he had left it behind when he had left three years ago, he was almost afraid to find it alongside his other things that would remind him of his life here, which is why he hadn't looked through any of his stuff yet. 

Callum just nodded, hoping that Stuart would believe him. 

_aged twenty one_

_Callum leaned over from where he was knelt down on the soft carpet to switch the night light on, the ceiling lighting up with stars the second he did. He smiled softly as he looked back towards the bed, where Lexi was fast asleep as a result of Callum reading her favourite story to her. She was tiny in the middle of all her favourite blankets and with her teddy bear (called "Casper") hooked under her arm._

_For a moment, Callum just watched her little chest rise and fall- his back against the bedroom wall as he waited for a couple of minutes uncase she woke. After all, she was known for calling for one of them if she woke back up and they had disappeared on her._

_Callum was unsure how long he sat there, checking she had fallen into a deep sleep- but it was when he heard the familiar sound of combat boots on the hardwood floor (despite Callum constantly reminding Ben to take his boots off before coming upstairs) that Callum looked away from a sleeping Lexi and towards the door of her bedroom._

_Ben was stood there, a look of awe on his face as he took in the sight of Lexi and Callum._

_"You falling asleep down there?" Ben whispered as Callum looked up at him, thankful that Lexi's nightlight was highlighting his husbands face. It was a Friday, and they always had Lexi on a Friday- and it wasn't often that Ben came home after her bedtime on this particular day, Callum figured that he could blame Phil for that- although, that was a problem for another time._

_"Nah." Callum pulled himself up from the floor, shooting one last glance to Lexi before moving towards the door. He watched as Ben walked over to his daughter and pressed a kiss to her forehead before he followed Callum down the stairs._

_Once they had reached the living room, Callum was being turned around and Ben was kissing him- hands wrapping around his neck as he stumbled backwards until the back of his knees met the sofa and he was falling backwards, Ben taking the opportunity to fall on top of him._

_"Where were you?" Callum managed to ask between kisses._

_Ben, clearly not interested about talking about work and instead focusing on leaving a bruise on Callum's neck, answered quickly. "Dads." He mumbled, "He wanted my help with a deal- nothing important, baby" Before he was going back to kissing Callum-_

_"Nothing that would get you arrested, right?" Callum questioned, pulling back from the kiss- much to Ben's dismay._

_Ben just smirked, used to Callum's protectiveness. "They could try-" Before he groaned, protesting- "Kiss me back, Cal."_

_And of course, Callum had never denied Ben anything so instead of worrying about what Phil had gotten Ben involved in now, he hooked his arms under Ben's thighs and dropped him back onto the sofa, much to Ben's amusement. It was only a second later that he was dropping down on top of him and finally kissing back._

Present. 

"I'm sorry i didn't text last night." Callum said as he walked through the square, his phone pressed to his ear as he spoke to Oliver. Fortunately, Oliver was a very trusting guy and didn't have too many questions about what Callum was up to last night, and instead focused on how he was handling the hangover. 

Long story short, _he wasn't._

"Don't worry, spending time with your brother is a good thing." Oliver said down the line, and Callum tried not to cringe at his outright lie that he was feeding Oliver. Sure, he hadn't been with Stuart- but he had been with friends...Not Ben. "I'm just excited for you to come back home." 

Callum was about to answer, however the second his eyes landed on Lexi- who was dressed in her school uniform and pink jacket, anything he was about to say was suddenly forgotten. It took Lexi only a couple of seconds to spot Callum, and the moment she did she was running away from Billy who had been walking with her, and straight towards Callum. 

"Hey...What's wrong?" Callum said the second he spotted the sad expression on her face. That wasn't typical for Lexi, and every instinct in his body was screaming for him to find out what or who has upset her. 

Instead of answering, she just latched onto Callum's waist and hugged herself against him. He could hear Oliver from the phone asking who that was, but right now his only concern was a sad Lexi in his arms. 

"Oliver...I'll call you back-" He promised before he was shoving his phone in his pocket and turning his attention to Billy, who finally caught up with his great granddaughter. "What's wrong with her?" 

He knew he had no right to ask. It didn't matter that he had been part of a Lexi's life since she was a baby, he was currently perusing a divorce with her father and the family they once were was broken. 

However, not one part of Callum stopped adoring Lexi- and apparently his parental instincts had kicked in. "I got called to pick her up from school...Ben and Lola were both at work." Billy started, himself looking a little unsure whether he should be telling Callum this. After all, Ben had made it clear that Callum needs to stay away from Lexi- although, even Billy could see the way she was clinging onto Callum, so he continued. "Apparently there was a problem between her and another kid in her class...The teacher said this other girl is a little bit older than Lex and might have been picking on her so i've got to tell Ben and Lola so they can arrange a meeting with the school." Billy paused before sighing, "She won't talk to anybody about it...trust me, i've tried." 

Callum frowned at the thought of somebody being mean to Lexi, who was clearly sad about the situation judging by the way she was holding onto Callum and refusing to even tell any of her family what was upsetting her. He looked down at her, noticing how she had grown slightly from the last time he had seen her, although to him she would always be the tiny little girl that used to run around the house in rainbow leggings and her hair in pigtails. "Lex-" He started, and she looked up at him with sad eyes and his heart broke all over again. She had Ben's eyes, and he almost couldn't bare staring back into them. 

"Listen- i probably should get her home for tea." Billy suggested, looking around as if he was prepared for a Mitchell to suddenly appear and grass on him to Ben that Billy was letting Lexi near Callum. So, Callum was about to agree- understanding that he didn't want Billy to be in trouble or cause any problems, especially since something was clearly upsetting Lexi and he didn't want to add to that. 

However, as he tried to step out of Lexi's hold, she just held on tighter. 

"Lexi..." Billy sighed, "C'mon, Callum has somewhere to be. You've gotta come with me, until mum finishes work." 

But Lexi just shook her head, "No, i wan't to stay with Callum." She said quietly. And Callum knew it was nothing personal to Billy, Lexi adored her great-grandfather but it was clear right now she wanted a different kind of comfort, and apparently that comfort was Callum. 

Still, Callum tried- "It's probably best you go with Billy." He started, as much as he hated of the thought of pushing her away." 

But Lexi, as stubborn as her father, shook her head. "No, can i go with you?" She looked up at him, clinging onto his hand. "I wanna go with you...And then daddy can come find us once he finishes work-" _like old times,_ was left unsaid.

Callum just looked at Billy, a look of pain flashed across his face. Billy, clearly at a loss just shrugged- he would either have to drag Lexi away from Callum or face a pissed off Ben because he let Lexi go with Callum, despite the fact that Callum had essentially been another parent to his granddaughter. "If you are not busy..." Billy started, although he still looked uncertain. 

Callum didn't even need to think about it, "It's okay. I've got her." He said, relieved that somebody still trusted him with Lexi. 

He watched as Billy cuddled Lexi and passed her school bag to her, promising to see her tomorrow and that he loved her- before his attention returned to Callum. "It's okay." Callum reassured, "It will be me Ben gets mad at...I can handle him don't worry." 

Billy just nodded and sent one final smile to Lexi before he was leaving Lexi with Callum, as if they had just gone back to normal times when Callum would often pick Lexi up from school. 

"C'mon." He sighed, holding a hand out for Lexi, because he knew exactly where to take her if he wanted her to talk. 

Callum grinned as he placed the milkshake in front of Lexi, amused by the way her eyes lit up at the sight of it. 

He was relieved to know that not a lot had changed and Lexi's favourite place was still the milkshake shop just a five minute walk from the square. She laughed as he took the cherry from the top of the cream and ate it- something that he had always done, after all- Lexi hates cherries and Callum loves them- they had an agreement. 

"The best flavour is strawberry." Lexi stated, very confidently in typical Lexi style. 

Callum pulled a face, much to her amusement. "Incorrect." Was his reply, "It's banana." 

The look of horror Lexi gave him in return was enough to get him laughing again. He had missed their little chats. 

They talked for a little while longer, Lexi talking about her ballet class while promising to show Callum a video that Lola had taken of her. However, it was when Callum brought up school that her body language changed and she stopped drinking the milkshake, instead started stirring it around aimlessly. 

"You know you can tell me anything right?" Callum tried, desperate to know how to take her upset away. "There's so many people that love you Lex, your dad, mum, Jay, grandad, grandma, billy..." 

"And you?" She prompted. 

His eyes softened instantly, "Of course, Lexi." He added, "I love you so much. You know that right?" 

She nodded, and was quiet for a moment before speaking up again, her voice timid. "You always used to say that you loved me and daddy way more than just the moon and back." She said. "Do you still love daddy?" 

Callum has never been stabbed in the heart, but he figured it would feel something along the lines of how he felt now. Suddenly nothing else mattered, calling back Oliver and telling him he was sorry for the sudden end of call, his work commitments back in Manchester, those divorce papers that Ben still hadn't signed- nothing mattered but Lexi. "I'm always going to love your dad, Lex." He said, "And i meant it when i said i loved you both way more than the moon and back." 

She smiled, content with his reply. "I love you past the moon and miss you beyond the stars." She added, "That's what you always said." 

Callum laughed, although it came out as more of a sob- "I remember, Lex." 

She must have sensed his sudden sadness as she leant across the table and held his hand, reminding him that she was growing up way too fast. He wanted her to stay little forever. 

"Me and daddy love you too." She said, oblivious to know how much that split Callum's heart in two. 

"C'mere-" He said as he held an arm out to her. She hoped off her own chair and rushed around to Callum's side of the table, where he pulled her into a hug as she landed on his lap. 

"So..." He decided this was the best opportunity he was going to get, "About school" 

He felt her tense in his arms but he continued. "What's making you sad?" 

She shook her head- "If i tell you, you'll tell mum and she will get upset and get mad at Jessica's mum...I don't want to cause a problem." 

Callum frowned as he brushed a fallen curl from Lexi's face, wishing he could physically take her sadness away. "Jessica?" He prompted. "Is that the girl who has been making you sad?" 

For a moment Lexi didn't react, and Callum was sure that she wouldn't tell him either, but then she was nodding. "You can tell me, Lex. Nothing bad is going to happen, i promise." She looked at him to check he was being truthful before adding. "And you'll make sure mum and dad don't get too angry?" 

He held his pinky out, "I pinky promise i'll talk to both mum and dad." He said. "C'mon, what has she said?"

Lexi shrugged, looking down at her hands as she sat on Callum's lap, using his chest as a backrest. "That i'm stupid because she is at a higher reading level to me...That her marks are better than mine and mum and dad would be disappointed in me because i got an answer wrong in spelling- But i do all my homework, Callum! I promise!" 

Callum had to remind himself that he had to be the rational one in this situation, despite the fact he currently wanted to storm down to the school and demand to speak to this Jessica- However, he knew that is exactly what Lexi was afraid of Lola and Ben doing, so he forced himself to stay put instead. "I know you do, babe." He reassured, before she continued. 

"She also said it was stupid that my parents are not together...Even when i've tried to explain to her that my mum has Jay and dad has...you." She shrugged, "She thinks her family is better." 

Callum turned Lexi around so she was fully facing him and placed a hand under her chin, "Listen, Lex." He started, "Non of that is true. You do not compare yourself to anybody else okay...You are amazing Lexi, and we are going to sort this out okay? We will talk to the school, it's going to get sorted." He nodded, "And as for your family, your family is perfect because it is full of love. We all love you so much, okay?" 

Lexi nodded, before wrapping her arms around Callum's neck and squeezing. He glanced over to his phone where he saw a message of Oliver, however, his attention was instantly taken back to Lexi as she looked back up- "Can we go home?" 

Callum wasn't sure which home she was referring to, however he didn't have chance to respond as he watched her eyes light up and with one look behind him he knew it was Ben she had spotted. 

For a moment, Ben looked annoyed- However, it was quickly replaced with an expression that was filled with something else, almost looking pained. Lexi didn't pick up on it however, she just jumped off the seat and rushed towards Ben, the other man instantly pulling his daughter into a hug. 

"Listen- don't get mad at Billy." Was all Callum said as he walked over to the pair, Lexi's school bag in his other hand. 

Ben just stared at him with narrowed eyes before giving in with a simple shrug, "She loves you." He muttered, "I knew i wouldn't be able to keep you apart even if i tried." 

Callum nodded, impressed that Ben wasn't pissed at him or Billy. 

"Uh we need to-" Callum started, but Ben cut him off. 

"Sign the papers?" Was what Ben assumed Callum was about to say, "That's your new favourite thing to say, huh?" 

"Actually-" Callum sighed, "Talk about Lexi and school...She was pretty upset earlier." 

Callum saw Ben clench his jaw at the thought of something at school upsetting his daughter. However, he controlled his anger as he realised Lexi was waiting patiently for both of them back at the table. So, Ben just nodded slowly, believing what Callum was saying. 

"But right now- i should probably make a call." Callum said, knowing he should call Oliver back. He watched Ben nod slowly, glancing towards Lexi who was staring between them as if she didn't want the three of them to separate again. 

Taking her chance, Lexi spoke up. "There's a fundraising fair on the square tomorrow...You wanna come?" 

"Lex-" Ben went to protest, however the pout they both got in return was enough to shut him up. 

"Uh, i'll stop by." Callum promised her, shooting an apologetic glance towards Ben. "Only if you win me a teddy bear." 

She laughed at that, but held her finger up for a pinky promise.

Callum nodded, taking a deep breath to remind himself, _he totally had this under control._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i introduce you to lexi - the ultimate parent trap x


	8. 08. you could break my heart in two but when it heals, it beats for you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loosing Ben and Lexi the first time was the worst pain...Having to leave them again was a pain that Callum was currently experiencing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Selena Gomez - Back to you (aka Callum's mind in this fic, i was listening to that song while writing this chapter - extremely fitting :p ) 
> 
> lemme introduce you to (again) Lexi the matchmaker.. 
> 
> some reference to depression in this chapter.
> 
> I hope you are all enjoying the christmas period as much as you can xx

Callum was avoiding eye contact at all costs. 

He knew that if he looked up from where he was tying his shoelaces and caught his brothers eye, who was clearly staring right back at him, he would be pulled into a conversation he really didn't want to have. 

However, this was Stuart he was talking about- and if his brother wanted to talk, Callum had little choice in the matter. 

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Was his first question, and Callum thought- _oh here we go,_ as he forced himself to look up and look at Stuart. Instead of looking annoyed, Stuart looked sympathetic, Callum decided he would rather his brother be angry at him rather than pity him. 

"Go to a fundraising fair?" Callum played dumb, knowing fine well what Stuart was getting at. Evidently, Stuart knew Callum understood too, by the way his brother glared back at him. 

"Go to the local fair with your ex...Wait, no, with your husband." Stuart corrected. "Because that's what he is isn't he? Your husband, since the guy straight up refuses to sign divorce papers. Have you told Oliver that, you know, the guy waiting at home for you?" 

"For starters." Callum set himself up for an argument, "I'm not going with Ben. I'm going with you and Raine and i said to Lexi i would see her there." Which was true, after speaking to Lexi yesterday and promising her that he would see her at the fair, Callum wasn't about to back out on that promise. 

"Secondly, this has nothing to do with Oliver. I'm not doing anything wrong, i'm going to this fair for Lexi." Callum argued, despite not trusting his own voice as he spoke. "And you of all people can understand that, Stu. You know how much i love that little girl, she took her first steps to me, do you think i'm just going to go away for a while and forget that i was part of raising her?" 

Stuart nodded, looking agitated as he continued his side. "Exactly, i know how much you love Lexi." He added, "And i know how much you love her dad too." 

Callum flinched at the clear accusation, looking at Raine who was watching them from the kitchen as if to say, _do you hear what he's saying?_ However, she was simply looking back at him with sad eyes too. 

"This is nothing to do with me and Ben." Callum said through gritted teeth, suddenly feeling like he was being cornered- desperate to get out of this situation. "I'm with Oliver, i've moved on...I'm getting a divorce." 

"Are you?" Stuart's voice raised, clearly growing frustrated. "Because the last time i checked you were hanging out with him and Lexi in the milkshake shop-"

"I was not hanging out with Ben. I was comforting Lexi." Callum corrected, knowing fine well that as soon as Ben had turned up, Callum had explained the situation to Lexi to him and had left soon after promising Lexi that he would see her the following day. It hadn't been about him and Ben, it had been about Lexi, their priority would always be Lexi. 

"Exactly." Stuart sighed, rubbing a hand across his face. "You're attached to her. Now you are back can you honestly say that you'll be able to leave her again...Wait, actually, are you sure you'll be able to leave them again? Because i saw what it did to you the first time, so i'll ask again, are you sure sticking around is helping you? Helping Lexi? Helping Ben?" 

Callum just glared, silently hoping that he would be able to control the tears that wanted to fall. "So, what do you suggest? I just leave?" 

"Bruv, i'm not saying that-" 

"Clearly." Callum scoffed, glancing around the living room until he spotted his wallet. He walked past his brother, barley giving him a second glance as he reached for it- "Listen, just because you don't have a great relationship with your daughter doesn't mean that i should turn my back on Lex, i've done it once already." 

And then he was gone, unable to see the hurt expression that was plastered across his brothers face. 

_"How cool do you look?" Callum grinned as he stepped away from the baby, looking down at her in her dungarees and pink converses. Lexi looked adorable as she stared back at him with her curled pigtails and bright eyes that matched Bens, and in that moment Callum decided that out of him, Lola and Ben- he was definitely the best at picking clothes for Lex._

_"Lemme just grab my phone, gotta take a pic." He said to Lexi as she sat patiently on her play mat, her bottle of juice hanging from her mouth as she watched Callum's movement around the living room. When he returned, she was still sat in a perfect position for a picture and Callum could almost hear Lola in his ear saying "oh my god she is a baby model"._

_Once he secured the best picture, he sent it off to the group chat that contained himself, Ben, Lola and Jay before turning his attention back to Lexi. "Your daddy will be home soon." He told her as he sat on the floor across from her, creating a space between them incase she wanted to crawl around. For a few minutes Callum was distracted by Lola's responses in the chat, so much so that he barley noticed Lexi standing up a few steps away from him._

_The second he did he was up on his feet, because while it was a known fact that Lexi could officially stand herself up, it usually resulted in her face planting a few seconds later. Now, however? Lexi was fully stable._

_"Whoa, Lex-" He said, sounding a little overwhelmed himself because he was the only one here to witness this. "You want to come to me?" He asked in a hopeful tone, attempting to encourage her by holding his hands out for her._

_She was used to being held by them so as soon as Callum offered his hands out, her face lit up and she moved-_

_For a moment Callum thought she was about to fall, but she took another step, and another and then Callum was picking her up and cuddling her close- on the verge of tears as he looked across the room and noticed Ben had actually seen._

_"Did you see that?" He asked anyway, almost not believing it himself. Lexi had taken her first steps and she was currently giggling in Callum's arms like she knew how much of a genius she really was._

_"She walked to you, babe." Ben confirmed as he walked further into the room, in his work clothes and covered in oil but Callum didn't care as both he and Lexi were pulled into a hug. "I'm so proud of you, Lex." He said and Callum quickly passed her over to her dad, grinning at the way Lexi clung onto Ben- a daddy's girl through and through and Callum understood why._

_"I'm so glad you saw that." Callum breathed out as Ben pressed their foreheads together, stealing a kiss when Callum finally caught his breath._

_Ben grinned, kissing him once more before pulling back. "Her first steps." He paused, looking up at Callum with a sense of pride. "I'm so happy they were to you."_

Callum felt instant guilt the second he walked out of the flat. Why did he throw Zara in Stuart's face like that? As if Callum was some parenting superhero when in fact he was a hypocrite because when his marriage broke down to Ben, it wasn't just Ben that Callum had walked away from but Lexi too. 

Callum made a mental note to apologise to Stuart as soon as he got home later, knowing fine well that all his brother was trying to do was protect Callum from breaking his own heart. 

He walked through the crowded square which had been set up with new stalls to fundraise. Callum smiled as he walked past Martin and Kush fighting over the hook-a-duck game, while Tiff stood a few feet away from them recording them. The second she spotted Callum she grinned, sending him a wave as he passed. 

It didn't take him long to find Lexi, or she found him because he felt a sudden tug on his sleeve and he was turning, spotting her big smile. "You came!" And he was looking past her to see Phil trying to catch up to her, looking almost unsure of how to approach her now that she was clinging onto Callum's arm. 

"Promised didn't i?" He chuckled as he allowed her to cling onto him, looking back up at Phil as he approached. 

"Alright?" Was the typical greeting he got from his father in law, which was reassuring. He nodded to Phil as the man looked down at his granddaughter with a raised eyebrow, she looked back up at him from where she had wrapped Callum's arm around herself as to say, _i'm fine where i am,_ and Callum watched as Phil chuckled, knowing that winning an argument with Lexi was virtually impossible. She was part of Lola and Ben after all.

"Alright, you stay with Callum, i'm going to head off to the arches." Phil decided, clearly making a great escape from the fair which wasn't a typical setting for the eldest Mitchell. And then he was looking up at Callum, "Y'alright with that?" 

Callum nodded, probably a little too eagerly. "I've got her." Before he was asking, "Is Ben around?" 

Phil shrugged, "On the phone with a client." Was his response, "I'm sure he'll find you." And then he was ruffling Lexi's hair as he passed them both, Callum managing another awkward smile because he may have known Phil since he was sixteen, but reuniting after a split with his son was a whole other level of uncertainty. 

Lexi grinned up at Callum as he glanced down at her, amused at her tactics of getting Callum's attention. "Can you try win me a teddy?" She asked, and Callum already felt the utter pressure of trying to win a kid a toy at those impossible fairground games. He scanned the area, spotting a stall that Billy was watching and hoped that it would be easier to win if he knew the person running the stall. "Dad tried about six times, he's really bad." 

Callum couldn't help but chuckle at her, thankful that she was a great distraction from his argument with Stuart. 

Callum was thankful when Lexi pulled him over to the makeshift football goal that Mick was currently stood beside, looking overly pleased with himself as Martin threw a teddy at him that he passed to Ollie. At least football was something Callum wasn't terrible at, he had a chance at least. 

Mick nodded to Lexi with a grin before looking back at Callum, "Nice to see you two together." And Callum couldn't help but smile sadly at his comment, an arm thrown around Lexi's shoulder as she laughed at Martin's failed attempt to get it in the goal. 

"Come on then, Callum." Martin sighed as he threw the ball at him, fortunately his reflexes were quick as he caught it before it made contact with his chest. "Score the goal and we'll let your girl have her choice of any of these." Callum couldn't help but notice how Lexi's eyes lit up at that promise. 

Unsurprisingly to Lexi, who had spent a good few years of her life kicking a ball around the square with Callum, it only took one try for Callum to score a goal- despite Martin's attempts to be a successful goalie. And in typical Lexi style, she strode up to the prizes and went with the biggest teddy bear their, much to everyone else's amusement as she passed the teddy that was almost the same size as her to Callum. 

Callum laughed as he hooked the teddy under his arm, brushing off Mick's comment that he was a _softie_ through and through, as if he could talk by the look of Ollie and his number of prizes hooked under both arms. Apparently that was part of being a parent, doing anything to put a smile on your kids face. 

The smile, however, faltered as he heard Lexi shout, "Dad! Look, Callum won a teddy for us." And the amusement on Martin's face was enough for Callum to turn around to face Ben, who was walking towards them. However, he didn't look angry, or irritated that Callum was hanging around Lexi again- instead he looked amused as he took in the sight of Callum with a teddy bear that would have to have its own train ticket its that big. 

"Oh yeah?" Ben muttered as he came to stand beside his daughter, looking at Callum with a raised eyebrow. "I can see that." 

Lexi looked in between them as if she was trying to figure out what both of them were thinking, so Callum jumped into action, not wanting the girl to assume something was wrong and smiled at Ben. He reminded himself that they were being civil for Lexi's sake, fighting fire with fire wasn't always the best option when there is a kid in the middle of them. And as much as Stuart warned him that hanging around Lexi would only make it harder for them all in the end, Callum couldn't bare the thought of purposely staying away from Lexi while he was in Walford. 

"Have i gone back in time?" Both he and Ben glanced up as Max walked past them, making his smug remark before he continued on his way. Callum was used to growing up in a community where everybody knew each other, it was typical that people were going to be surprised of Callum's return after his sudden departure. 

Callum caught Ben's eye who clearly looked unbothered about what anybody else thought about their situation and instead the shorter man looked down at Lexi, "Come on, got a lemonade waiting for you at the table." He motioned behind him, where Lola and Jay were watching them from the tables that were being used outside of Walford East. For a moment Lexi hesitated, looking up at Callum as if to guess his next move. Ben must have read her mind too as he was quickly following with, "Callum can come too." 

The next half of hour consisted of a silent Ben who stuck to scrolling through his phone, while Lexi chatted enough for all five of them sat around the table. Lola and Jay both attempted to catch up with Callum, although he knew that they were both aware of asking any questions that would create an awkward atmosphere with Ben being sat on the other side of Lexi. Thankfully, they didn't ask him anything too personal, or about Oliver, sticking to the basics of _i hear the music scene in Manchester is good_ which Callum was happy to comply with.

It was when Jay brought up the question of Callum going back did the tension around the table increase. Ben, stayed put on his foot, the only indicator that he heard was the occasional shift of his eyes. Lola also looked sad, most likely for Lexi who looked up at Callum in horror, as if she hadn't figured out that Callum wasn't staying put in London and had a whole other life in Manchester that he had planned to go home to. 

"You could stay?" Was Lexi's first suggestion, and Callum really wished that Jay hadn't brought up the inevitable question into the conversation as he no longer knew how to escape the answer. She was looking up at him with a set of hopeful eyes and Callum truly hated himself in that exact moment. 

However, before he had the chance to reply, Ben was joining in. "Lexi." He warned. But of course, she paid no attention to that. 

"You should stay." She added, "Your family is here, not there." 

And Callum knew it was the easy way out, but he looked up at Ben for some help to find the other man already staring back at him, over his daughters head. For a moment they were both silent, nobody knowing how to soothe Lexi's concerns before Ben spoke up. "You know me and Cal are not together anymore, Lex-" And Callum hated the devastation on her face as she listened to what her father as saying, because of course she knew they weren't together, Callum had been gone for a while. But it was the confirmation that Callum hadn't come back to get back with Ben that caused the look of defeat to plaster itself across her face, and Callum hated himself for it. 

Stuart was right, coming back here had just caused hurt. 

Callum didn't know what her next move was going to be, but he hadn't expected her to shoot up from her chair and run away from the table, ignoring Ben's call for her in the process. 

"It's fine." Lola reassured as she jumped up after her. "I'll go after her. She just needs a minute to calm down, it's okay." Callum knew that she was just trying to be a good friend and reassure him that Lexi didn't hate him for leaving again, but it was hard not to think that as he watched Jay and Lola walk after her, leaving him and Ben behind. 

As usual, he took the cowards way out and mirrored Lexi's earlier moves and left the table, almost knocking his chair over as he moved and avoided giving a second glance to Ben who was left behind at the table. 

He got back to Stuart and Raine's in record time and was thankful to find an empty flat, not wanting a bunch of questions as to why he had returned from a harmless fundraiser in the square with tears in his eyes. 

He barley had chance to throw himself down onto the couch when the buzzer went off and he groaned, leaning over to let either Raine or Stuart in with the assumption that they had forgotten their keys. However, when the door slammed closed and he looked up, he was met with Ben instead. 

"You ran off pretty quick back there." Ben said in a neutral tone as he dropped Callum's phone on the coffee table in front of him. "Forgot how long your legs were." 

Callum knew Ben was trying to lift the mood. However, all he could picture was Lexi's sad face staring back at him and the belief that she hated him now. "Whatever you are thinking, stop it." Ben added, as if he was reading Callum's anxieties out loud. "Lexi is just confused. Y'know how she gets, Callum." 

Callum shrugged, staring down at his shoes as Ben took a seat on the chair beside the couch. "She should hate me." He said in an almost whisper, "I left her." 

Ben sighed as he leaned back in the chair, "You left me, Cal." Ben corrected, although rather than sounding bitter, he kept his voice quiet. "And it was probably for the best looking back. I wasn't exactly a great husband in the last couple of months of our marriage." 

Callum found himself looking up then, surprised that Ben actually referenced their fallout. "I put my dad and work before you. Both you and Lexi." He shrugged, "I was so desperate to prove myself, make something of myself and i guess our marriage was the sacrifice. So, Callum you can walk away from me...But Lex, she loves you Callum, okay? And i know you love her too." He added, "It was me that pushed you to leave, i know that. I might not have meant to, but i know i did." 

Callum sighed, "I didn't know what else to do, Ben." he added, "That night, i wanted you to ask me to stay but you went to do some dodgy deal instead. So i thought the only way i could prove to you how serious...Was to leave. And then i ended up in Manchester, and i was a mess-" 

Ben rubbed at his chin, looking anywhere but Callum as he spoke, "I threatened your brother." He admitted, having the decency to look ashamed. "It was the first thing i did when i got home that night and saw your note. I went upstairs to our bedroom and saw so much of your things were gone, i panicked and went to Stuart's and basically dragged him out of bed, pinned him to a wall and told him i'd kill him if he didn't tell me where you had gone." He shrugged, "Your brother is very protective of you, i've always liked that about him. When he saw the state i was in, he refused to tell me anything, told me to go home and give you space." 

"I had intended to come back sooner." Callum said, as he continued to obsess over his bare finger where his wedding ring used to sit. "Had even booked a return ticket to London. But i couldn't even get myself out of bed, Ben. It took me a few months, to-uh realise i was depressed." He made sure to not look at Ben's reaction as he spoke, not sure if he could handle it. "I started to torture myself with the idea that i was anything like my dad, convinced that i had left Lexi behind and therefore i didn't deserve to just turn back up. And you, you were my everything and i had walked away from you...my choice, not yours." He sighed, "And i couldn't handle it. I couldn't handle the thought of you getting arrested and ending up in prison, or even worse you getting killed by some criminal while trying to do some stupid job with your dad, Ben. So, as a compromise with my own mind, i decided-maybe if i didn't love you as much, it would hurt less." 

He continued, "I really tried. I got a job in Manchester, started meeting new friends but you had been all i had known from the age of sixteen." Sighing, "Trying to not love you was the hardest, most painful thing- especially since all i wanted to do was ask Stuart if you looked like you missed me as much as i missed you." 

"And then you met that guy?" Ben asked, although there wasn't any anger behind his tone. However, Callum looked up in time just to see Ben clench his jaw and look away as he asked the question. 

Callum nodded, "Yeah, Oliver." Was all he could make himself say, not wanting to talk too much about Oliver to Ben. 

Apparently Ben had other ideas. "So he wants to marry you, huh?" And Callum decided not to respond to that, deciding that this wasn't helping anybody. Surprisingly, Ben said, "I get it. I wanted to marry you about five days after meeting you." 

Callum chuckled at that, although had to wipe at his eye in the process, hoping that Ben didn't see. "Yeah, well...I felt the same." 

He could feel Ben's eyes on him, although he wasn't sure if he was brave enough to look up and meet them, so instead he stayed staring down at his hands, watching them shake. 

In the end Callum forced himself, and looked up to catch Ben's facial expression. The other man looked pained as he stared at the window, although he was tapping his foot and looked on the verge of getting up and running. "When i saw you back here after all this time, asking me to sign the papers." Ben started, "I wasn't mad at you. I was mad that i realised i could never hate you and the only thing i had against you was not giving you a divorce that you wanted." 

Ben chuckled at that, although there was no real humour behind it. "You know me, Cal. I like to have the upper hand." For a few extra seconds he was quiet, and Callum swore he could see his brain ticking as he bit at his lip and then he knew what was coming. "Here." And Callum watched as Ben threw down a copy of the divorce papers, his line of sight once again looking anywhere but Callum. On the other hand, Callum was staring at the divorce papers as if they were a ticking time bomb. 

"I signed them, uh, yesterday after seeing you comfort Lexi." Ben said. "Seeing you both together reminded me of what it used to be like, Lexi looked happy and i realised then, me refusing to sign the papers wasn't helping anybody, especially not Lexi." Ben nodded towards the papers as he stood up, hands sliding into the pockets of his black skinny jeans. "Just because of...us, don't think i would stop you seeing Lex, she's yours too." He sighed as he ran a hand through his hair, "We'll sort something out. All you need to do is sign the papers too." 

Against his better judgement, and Callum knew Stuart would be sat somewhere face palming, but Callum got up from the couch the second he saw Ben moving towards the door. It took him only a few seconds to reach him before he was grabbing at Ben's wrist and turning him around, the both of them forced to face each other. "What happened to us?" Was all Callum could get out, and Ben didn't have a response as he stared back at Callum as if he was taking in any changes that had appeared on Callum's face from the last time they had been this close. 

"I'm doing the best thing i can do for you now, Cal." Ben finally spoke up, managing a small, but sad smile as Callum looked back at him, feeling helpless. 

And while his mind screamed at him not to, as Ben turned to leave, Callum reached forward and pressed their lips together, almost knocking the air out of Ben as he did. It took Ben a few seconds to kiss back as a result of utter shock, but the second he did, Callum felt himself be pushed up against the wall, hands plastered to his sides as Ben's tongue took advantage of the gap between Callum's lips. 

Nothing had changed, their kisses still felt the exact same, a mixture of adoration, love, lust and everything in between and anything else that was on Callum's mind slipped away as Ben continued to kiss him, a hand pressed against his cheek to tilt his head. 

Just as Callum hand reached up to card through Ben's hair while their tongues continued to move against each others, the sound of movement on the stairs had Ben pulling away, clearly sensing Stuart's presence before Callum who just looked back at Ben with kiss bitten lips- only reacting when his brother walked through the front door. 

For a moment Stuart looked surprised, but it was not long before his face turned into a look of knowing as he stared back at Callum who was guilty staring at the divorce papers that were left on the coffee table. 

Callum barley had time to hear Ben announce his sudden departure, too busy staring at the papers that were actually signed while he could still feel Ben's mouth on his lips. 


	9. 09. you told me no matter, everywhere we go I was your rock, was it just a joke?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Callum had successfully made everything harder for himself while feeling split between two places.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just for tonight - James Bay
> 
> this is more a filler chapter but i got a plan in my mind for the next chapter and i'm going with it x
> 
> Hope you are all well and have a safe New Year because we can all agree when i say fuck 2020- BYE

Callum was not, nor has he ever claimed to be a saint.

After all, he would be the first to admit stealing those packet of cigarettes when he was fifteen from the local shop- in his defence, they had been for Stuart as Callum was not the smoker of the family and Stuart had been the one to ask him to bring some home, knowing fine well that Callum had no money in his backpack. 

And he had a handful of fake alibis under his name, as a result of being married to Ben, because _yes officer he was with me_ and not doing some dodgy car deal down Hackney. 

So, sure, not a saint but he had never cheated. At least, he had never cheated before last night, because that's what it was right? He had snogged his ex for an unreasonable amount of time while his oblivious boyfriend sat at home waiting for him. 

This was a whole new level of guilt he was experiencing. After all, before Oliver, the only relationship he had ever been in had been with Ben and he had never even looked at another person while he was with Ben. So this was new, and Callum couldn't decide what was worse...That he had kissed Ben behind Oliver's back or that it had felt right. 

"So, he has signed them then." Callum looked up as Rainie walked into the room, holding the copy of the paperwork that Callum had abandoned on the coffee table the night before. "You gonna send them to the lawyer?" 

Callum nodded slowly, "Uh, yeah." He shrugged, "I will soon." 

He ignored the look of surprise that flashed across her face as she placed the papers back down on the table, sensing that they were not something that Callum wanted to be discussing as of right now. He gave her a thankful smile for that. 

"Don't worry, your brother is at work." She assured, "If you wanna curl up on the sofa and watch rom-coms all day, i won't judge you..." He managed a laugh at that, although he could tell she was being serious. 

For a moment she just smiled at him, before forcing herself up and squeezing Callum's shoulder as she passed him. Just as Callum thought she was about to leave, she spoke up once more, "You know Callum." She started, "You're allowed to be sad. Try not to be too hard on yourself." 

And then she was gone, and Callum was alone with nothing but his own thoughts. 

_Oh, great._

_Callum smiled into the pillow when he felt a familiar pair of hands wrap around his waist and tug him backwards, until back met chest. For a moment, Callum just allowed himself to cuddle back into Ben, despite how freezing the other mans hands were against his bare stomach and how Ben was clearly trying to wake him up by pressing kisses around the back of his neck._

_"You tired, babe?" He heard Ben whisper between kisses. However, he had no time to reply as Ben used the arm wrapped around Callum's waist to flip him over._

_His first reaction was to grin, because he had missed Ben's face when they had been apart for work today. However, when Ben leant down to kiss him, Callum jerked his head back when he noticed the obvious mark under his eye that was quickly bruising. Now, that had not been there when Callum saw him this morning._

_Ben unfazed by Callum's confusion, attempted to kiss him again, only groaning and pulling away when Callum prevented him again. "Who punched you?" And just as Ben opened his mouth to reply, Callum quickly added. "And don't lie."_

_Ben's smirk was quickly wiped off his face at his husbands serious face. After all, Callum was probably the only person on the planet that Ben struggled to lie too. "Listen, Cal-"_

_But Callum was already sitting up in bed, the duvet pooling around his lower stomach as he stared back at Ben through narrowed eyes, already knowing this had something to do with his father in law. "So, wait- the reason you couldn't pick your daughter up from her dance club was because you were too busy acting like the tough guy?" Callum argued, although kept his voice quiet, knowing that Lexi was asleep down the hall since it was their night to have her. Jay and Lola were currently spending their night off by getting drunk down Shoreditch, Callum had already received multiple selfies of the pair. "Clearly, it backfired on you, huh?" Callum added as he motioned towards Ben's black eye._

_In response, he got a sigh, so Callum pulled the blanket from the chair beside the bed and pulled it over his shoulders, making a move to exit the room because Ben had promised him that he was working overtime at the arches- that was a clear lie._

_As a result of seeing Callum leaving, Ben jumped into action and almost fell out of bed as he reached for Callum's hand, tugging him backwards until Callum managed to slide out of his hold again. "C'mon babe, it wasn't anything bad-" before he was adding, "Dad just-"_

_"Nah, i get it." Callum shrugged, "I've learnt to not ask when it comes to you and your dad...After all, i'm only your husband. I'll be downstairs-"_

_"Cal, stay here." Ben urged, jumping up from the bed himself, but Callum backed away still._

_"I'll be downstairs." And when Ben attempted to follow Callum, like a lost puppy that was desperate to be forgiven, Callum added. "Seriously, Ben-" And that time, Ben stopped, letting Callum walk down the stairs with a blanket thrown over his shoulders, knowing fine well that when they argued, time apart was the best for both of them._

_However...Ben really hated sleeping without Callum in the bed._

_So, it wasn't much of a surprise when not fifteen minutes later, after Callum had made a bed for himself on the sofa and was staring aimlessly ahead in the dark room, that he looked up to see Ben walking into the living room, wearing one of Callum's t-shirts and his boxers, looking back at Callum with a look that made it impossible to believe that Ben was capable of late night criminal activity with his father._

_For a moment, Callum thought about being stubborn, but one more look at Ben's apologetic face was all it took for Callum to open his arms and it took approximately three seconds for Ben to rush across the room and lay down on the small amount of room that was left on the sofa for him- as Callum took up most of the space, most of Ben ended up on Callum._

_"I'm sorry...You know what my dad can be like-" Was what Ben whispered as he placed his head in the gap between Callum's chin and chest._

_"I know, Ben." Callum whispered, running a hand through the brunettes hair. "Just don't lie about where you are."_

_He felt Ben nod against his chest, before he was adding. "I love you." He said. "I hate when you are mad at me-"_

_"I'm not mad, Ben." He whispered. "I love you too, which is why i hate that you come home with a black eye...You know i worry about you, like all the time."_

_Ben's eyes softened as he lifted his head up to look at Callum, brushing a fallen strand of hair from his forehead._

_"I'm sorry." and Callum knew he really was. "I don't know what i'd do without you."_

_Callum smiled softly, trying to lift the mood, before pressing a kiss to Ben's lips, adding, "Well, i'm sure you'll never have to find out."_

"So, he's signed them." Callum walked through the square with his phone pressed to his ear, talking to Oliver about Ben signing the papers and carefully leaving the part out where Callum had his tongue down Ben's throat. "That's great, Callum. So, you'll be home soon?" 

"Uh, yeah." Callum added, "I just have a few loose ends to tie up here. And i still need to finalise the divorce, i haven't handed the papers in yet but i will and then...Manchester it is." 

Callum could hear Oliver's relieved sigh on the other end of the call, despite the background noise of a busy office, indicating Oliver was at work. Callum reminded himself that Oliver was good, a hard worker, who had been nothing but kind to Callum from the moment they met when Callum was just a heartbroken guy still attached to his first love. Oliver didn't deserve being messed around, which is why Callum needed to get a move on and return to Manchester. 

"You sound busy." Callum chuckled, hearing somebody calling Oliver's name in the background. "I'll call you later, alright?" 

They said their goodbyes as Callum turned the corner back onto the main road of the square, his eyes instantly falling onto Ben who was sat on a car bonnet, looking anything but happy as he talked to Jack. 

The best option for Callum would be to walk right past them both. After all, technically he no longer needed to talk to Ben, he had signed the papers and all Callum needed to do was pass them onto his lawyer. However, Callum had been with Ben since they were sixteen, which meant Callum knew Ben, which meant he knew by just looking at Ben right now the guy was about to snap back at Jack. And while they knew Jack personally, they also knew him as a police officer. 

So once again, against his better judgement, Callum walked towards Ben, giving him a knowing look when Ben looked up at him and sighed. 

"Oh great, another person who loves to moan at me." Ben muttered as Callum walked up to them. 

Deciding to be the bigger person, he ignored Ben's comment and turned to Jack who looked between both of them as if he had just travelled back in time. It was a known fact that whenever Ben was being questioned by the police in the past, Callum often appeared as if he was Ben's personal support system. Which he had been, now however? What was his excuse? 

"Ben, i'm only doing my job here. We can do this down the station if you prefer?" Was what Jack said, which increased Callum's attention. 

"What's happened?" He asked, looking directly at Ben and trying to forget that the last time he had seen him had been when they were kissing. 

Ben shrugged, "Car robbery in Croydon." He then motioned towards Jack, "Guess who our mate Jack thinks it is-" 

"When?" Callum asked, ignoring Ben's smirk. 

Jack looked in between them both once more, before sighing. "Last night, around 11:30pm" 

Many have called him stupid in the past, but right now he may be living up to that idea. "Ben was with me." He said with so much confidence that both Ben and Jack looked back up at him with surprised expressions, already for two different reasons. 

"All night?" Jack asked, "And you are happy to tell the police that if needed?" 

Callum turned to look at Ben who looked completely speechless that Callum was doing this. "Yeah, he was with me all night." before adding, "So you should look elsewhere, it weren't Ben, he was with me." 

Jack looked a little unsure, but didn't push, instead nodding to them both before backing away. Callum realised he had perfected talking to coppers by now. 

The second he was out of earshot, Ben spoke. "What was that?" He asked quietly. "We weren't together all night...So what was that?" 

Callum huffed, "Keeping you out of prison." 

"Since when did you care?" Ben asked, 

Turning around to face Ben he repeated, "Since when did i care?" He scoffed, "Are you forgetting the reason our marriage broke up in the first place? All i've ever done is worry about you ending up in prison, Ben and i come back and you're still doing this shit? I can't believe i even thought-" 

"Thought what, Cal?" Callum turned to look over his shoulder, seeing Dennis and Kim walk past with knowing looks. Well, it wouldn't be the first time the square saw Callum and Ben bickering. 

"Forget it." He sighed, "It's fine, we don't need to communicate anymore. I'll sort the divorce and go back-" 

"To Manchester, right? With what's his face, Oscar?" Ben started, shoving his hands into the pocket of his red jacket with a look of amusement, ignoring Callum as he corrected him with a quick, "It's Oliver, actually..." 

"You and Oliver must be serious huh? He wants to marry you after all." Ben muttered, leaning against the car again. "Would he still want to marry you if he knew that you were snogging me the night before? Maybe we wouldn't have even stopped if we weren't interrupted. After all, he won't ever really know you the way i know you, right?" 

Callum clenched his jaw, looking anywhere but Ben's eyes. "The reason i did that just then is because i want Lexi to grow up with her dad here, not behind bars." 

Ben had the decency to drop his smirk, but as Callum turned to walk away, he spoke again. "For the record, i didn't do it." Ben admitted, and Callum only need to look over his shoulder and see Ben's face to know he was telling Callum the truth. "After we kissed, i went to the bar, drank a little too much and ended up passed out on Jay and Lola's floor...You wanted honesty, there it is, Cal." 

Callum nodded slowly, neither of them breaking eye contact until Ben's phone started to ring and he sighed, lifting it up to his ear and mumbling, "What's up, dad?" as he walked away, but not before turning to look back at Callum, a faint hint of a smile on his lips. 


	10. 10. you were my town now I'm in exile seein' you out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It wasn't just Callum who was struggling with the change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Taylor Swift and Bon Iver - Exile 
> 
> i changed my username from callumnben to calnben because it was annoying me that this account didn't match the username on my tumblr and twitter :p
> 
> also...surprise it's a one off chapter in Ben's point of view, i hope you enjoy being inside Ben's head for a chapter :p

The pillow against his head was the first thing that Ben felt as he was forcefully pulled away from his peaceful sleep and back to reality. For a moment he just stayed where he was, which was in the middle of the double bed with the duvet covering most of him, despite the frequent attacks from-whoever the hell managed to get in his house, after all, Lexi had been at Lola's the night before so others would be concerned they were being woken up by somebody in their house. 

Not Ben, though, because he knew the only person who would wake him up this way was Lola. 

"Lo, seriously-" he mumbled into the comfort of the pillow, not caring what time it was and that it was a Monday, he wanted to stay in bed. However, Lola was stubborn, which is where Lexi gets it from, so he knew he was loosing either way. 

"I need a favour." She sighed as he pulled himself up, reaching for his glasses as his contacts were on the bedside table. "Well...Not really a favour, since she is your daughter as well." She quickly corrected as Ben rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. 

"What? She ruined another pair of shoes on purpose again?" He asked as he pulled himself out of bed, reaching for his t-shirt that had been thrown across the floor the night before after a long shift. Lola followed him in his movements, essentially cleaning up after him as he moved. 

"The school have just called for a last minute meeting with that bitch." She huffed as Ben shoved the toothbrush in his mouth, frowning as he glanced at Callum's red one that he should have gotten rid of a long time ago. Lola must have noticed too, but nobody ever mentioned that Ben didn't exactly move any of Callum's stuff he left, most likely out of fear that they'd get their heads bitten off if they did. 

"That bitch?" Ben repeated, despite his mouthful of toothpaste. 

"The mum of the kid who has been bullying, Lex." Lola added, "Now, i really want this sorted but as per usual i have a shift that i can't change. But we need this meeting Ben, i ain't having Lexi upset every time she goes to school, so can you take her today? I've made a list of notes i want you to bring up in the meeting-" 

Ben groaned, knowing parental meetings had always been more of a Lola thing while Ben was the one that usually sat there distracting Lexi. Now he was supposed to go alone? 

"Can't we make it for another day?" Ben asked, although he already knew Lola's reply. 

"I've already told them you'll be there now." She shrugged, "You know what schools are like with bullying, if we miss this appointment, who knows when they'll offer another meeting. I've put the notebook in Lexi's bag." 

Ben snickered, as he spat the toothpaste into the sink. "Yes sir." 

Which earned a slap across the arm in response, he would have winced if he wasn't so used to her. "I'm kidding, you know how serious i'm taking this." Ben assured as he stood up, suddenly serious. "I don't care if i have to scare that kid myself, i'm going to make sure nobody looks at Lex the wrong way again, right?" 

Lola, finally content, nodded and motioned towards the shower. "You smell like motor oil." She added, "Be quick, Lexi is downstairs waiting and in her uniform. I've gotta go to work- remember call me the second the meeting is over." 

And then she was gone before Ben even had chance to ask which teacher he was even supposed to be meeting with. 

When he made it downstairs after showering, he found Lexi laying across the sofa watching some awful kid show that Ben did not recognise. Usually whenever Ben enters a room, Lexi jumps up and runs to him for a hug, ( _after all, she is a daddy's girl)_ he would always tell Lola. 

However, today she just continued to stare at the TV, a small pout on her face. 

"Hey baby, you okay?" He asked as he placed his hand against her forehead, checking to see if a temperature was there which would indicate the reason she was being quiet. However, there was no temperature to suggest the reason she was silent was because she was poorly. 

She shrugged against the sofa cushions, her eyes remaining on the telly. _Huh, stubborn like your mother._

But then she was speaking up, "Where's Callum?" She questioned, which caught Ben's attention from where he was sat tying the laces of his boots on the other side of the room. He paused and glanced up with a frown, somewhat hating the way Lexi had suddenly started to assume that Callum would be around here now. After all, when Callum first left, it took a while for her to figure out that he wasn't 'home' but she had gotten used to it being just 'dad's' house. Now, however, after seeing Callum again- it was almost as if she expected him to be back here with them. 

"Is that why you are quiet?" Ben decided to push, "You want to see Callum?" 

She turned to look at him, sighing, "I'm not sad because of Callum, i just wondered if he had left yet." She admitted, before adding. "I'm sad because i don't want to go to this meeting." 

_Ah there it is,_ the meeting. Clearly both of them didn't want to attend. 

"Firstly, you know Cal will never leave without saying goodbye to you, alright? He'll be with his brother." Ben assumed, knowing Callum would leave him behind, but going without saying goodbye to Lexi was something he wouldn't do. "Secondly, this meeting isn't because you have done anything wrong. We just need to go sort out this problem, don't worry, i'll do all the talking for you." 

Lexi didn't look exactly convinced, but didn't add to the conversation, instead returning to her place on the sofa while Ben continued to tie his boots. 

He had managed to get her out of the house with little protest, however it was clear that this journey to school was not going to be based on a lot of conversation as Lexi silently walked beside him. They had barley made it across the square when he felt Lexi's hand slip from his own, and for a moment he thought he was about to have to chase her across the street- until he realised she was running towards Callum. 

_Of course,_ Ben figured. This is exactly what they need to make this trip better, his husband. Or, ex husband, Callum made sure of that. 

"I thought you would have left." Lexi admitted as Callum lifted her up, which was often easier from them both as a result of their obvious height difference. 

Callum looked surprised for a second as he glanced towards Ben, before his eyes were softening. "No, Lex." He assured as he brushed a fallen curl from her forehead, "I'm still here...Thats alright, ain't it?" 

She grinned, he caught her smile from where she looked at him over Callum's shoulder. "Yeah!" She said, as if it was the most obvious thing ever. "Me and dad love when you are here." 

Before Callum even had the chance to look at him to gage his reaction to Lexi's comment, Ben cleared his throat, holding a hand out in Lexi's general direction and hoping to get the hell out of here. "Lexi, come on, we are going to be late." He muttered, avoiding any look from Callum at all cost. Although, he knew his daughter and knew she wouldn't leave Callum that quickly. 

When he and Callum had been married, Callum and Lexi had always been each others sidekick. The two people on the planet that could convince Ben to do anything. They both wanted Ben to pick up ice cream on the way home? Ben was picking up ice cream. They both wanted Ben to participate in the dad's run at Lexi's first sports game at school? Ben was winning that medal for them. 

And Ben knew, even now, they held the power. 

"Lexi, seriously." He pushed, "We have to get to this meeting." 

And then Callum was turning fully towards him, looking concerned. "Is anything wrong?" As he went off Lexi's sad face and Ben's own expression. 

"Daddy is making me go to a meeting at school." Lexi said, and Ben rolled his eyes. 

"Actually, your mum is making us both go." He corrected. "And we need to go..." For the first time since this conversation started, Ben forced himself to look up at Callum. "It's about that kid bullying Lex...Lola can't change her shift at work so it's just me and this very stubborn kid." 

Callum nodded slowly, before looking back at Lexi. "I think you should listen to dad, Lex." He encouraged, "It's a good thing to talk about things." 

She still looked unsure as she stared between them both, and for a moment Ben thought he was going to have to drag her kicking and screaming but then she suggested, "Callum could come too?" She looked somewhat hopeful, and Ben really wanted to run in the opposite direction- because there really was no escaping Callum when it came to this kid. 

"I don't know if that would be a good idea-" Callum tried to help the situation, clearly seeing the look on Ben's face. 

However, Lexi didn't give up. "Please?" She pleaded, "I need you both there. You can keep dad calm- you used to do that all the time, come to my parent meetings together with mum too! Mum and dad would argue back, but you would kick them both under the table and tell them not to argue with teachers." 

Ben couldn't help but chuckle at his kids clear memory. After all, she wasn't wrong about Ben being the force to be reckoned with while Callum was the one that balanced them out. When he looked back up, Callum was grinning to at Lexi's assessment of them both. 

"Listen-" Callum started, but Ben was cutting him off. 

"It's alright, if you want to come...You can." Ben offered, with a shrug. Before quickly adding, "Unless you are busy, then i have it covered." 

Callum was already nodding before Ben finished, "I can come." He smiled as his attention turned to Lexi. "We can go together, for you, right?" 

_The second Stuart opened the door, Ben reached out and grabbed the collar of his shirt, pushing him backwards until his back met the wall behind him. "Where is he?" Was what he managed to get out, despite the alcohol in his system, making everything uncertain._

_Stuart, who was sober had the upper hand against Ben's state and pushed backwards, "What are you even doing here, Ben?" He snapped back, surprising the younger man. After all, he and Stuart weren't exactly the best of friends and he had even warned Ben to stay away from his little brother years ago when he and Cal first started dating, but they had built some form of relationship after Ben married Callum._

_"Callum." Ben mumbled, as reached into the pocket of his jacket, pulling out Callum's wedding ring that he had found on his bedside table. Callum never took this off, but here it was in Ben's hand and Callum was gone. Ben wanted to scream, because this isn't how it's supposed to be, Callum cannot leave him. "Where is he? Tell me where he is, or i swear-"_

_"You'll what?" Stuart pushed back, "You'll kill me? Or get some of your tough guys to knock me about?"_

_Ben stepped backwards, clinging onto the wedding ring in his hand a little tighter. "I wouldn't-" He started, "You are Callum's brother, i wouldn't."_

_Stuart nodded slowly, as if he believed Ben. At least there was that._

_"Stuart, seriously. You don't get it." Ben continued, the second he knew that Stuart didn't think he was in danger of being attacked. "I need him, alright? I need him, and right now you are the only person who knows where he has gone. Please, he's left me-"_

_Stuart didn't look surprised at his words suggesting that everything Ben was saying he already knew, Callum had told his brother. "Exactly, he's left you." Stuart shouted back, "I can't tell you where he is, you keep hurting him Ben-"_

_Ben looked taken aback for a moment, before he was adding, "Hurting? I would never touch a hair on his head, i love him."_

_Stuart sighed, "I know you wouldn't. You wouldn't physically hurt him, ever." He shrugged, "But, how many times has he had to lie to the police for you? How many times has he been sat at home terrified that you'd walk through the door covered in bruises, or even worse not walk through the door at all? And now...You're being accused of ordering a hit on Keanu Taylor-"_

_Ben groaned and dropped down onto the couch, hands falling into his head, because none of that mattered, no stupid deals for his dad mattered because he had pushed Callum too far. Callum, had left him and he loved him so much it felt like his heart was being pulled from his chest._

_He didn't know how long he sat there, rocking back and fourth on the sofa, thinking of all the ways he could get Callum to come home- but he looked up when he felt a hand on his shoulder and Stuart was looking at him._

_"I didn't hurt anyone, i promise-" Ben started, despite knowing Stuart wouldn't believe him now, at least not in his drunken state. "Where's Callum?"_

_When Stuart made no effort to tell him, he jumped back up, the same amount of determination in him as before. He stormed through the apartment, calling Callum's name as he did and successfully ignoring Stuart attempting to stop him. When he reached Callum's childhood bedroom, where Ben had spent many nights before they had moved out together, he paused as he stood in the doorway, seeing nothing but memories of the two of them._

_He walked over to the bed that had always been too small for the both of them but they had always made it work, as they would have rather slept together in a tiny bed, then apart. He laid down on it, boots and all and grabbed the football shirt that was hung up on the wall that Callum used to wear in senior school when he played for the club, the one with Halfway written across the back. He traced his thumb along the bottom of the shirt, seeing his own handwriting where Ben had written 'Mitchell' on the shirt with permeant marker that couldn't be washed away. Ben felt the first rear roll down his cheek as he pulled the shirt close to his chest._

_Because Callum wasn't here, Callum was somewhere Ben couldn't follow because he had pushed him too far._

_And Ben knew, it didn't matter if the distance meant Callum would grow to hate him, because Ben would always love him._

"Remember, this is a kid. We can't threaten her." Ben rolled his eyes as Callum leant over in the seat, that was made for a child and not for a six-foot tall Callum. Lexi was in the middle of them, but distracted by a game on Ben's phone as they waited for the teacher and the other kid and parents. 

Well, maybe she should've thought about being threatened before upsetting Lexi." Was Ben's reply, and Callum had no time to argue as the door was opening and in walked both the teacher and the other family. 

Callum sent Ben a warning look when he noticed the shorter man narrowing his eyes at the girl who was about half his size. 

The second Lexi saw the other kid, she frowned and looked back up at Callum and Ben. Ben just winked at her, as if to say, _we've got this,_ and this time he managed to catch Callum's smile in reaction. 

"Didn't i tell you!" Lexi giggled as Ben playfully pushed at Callum's shoulder, the three of them walking out of the school gates together. Because while it was a school day, Lexi was entitled to a lunch break which is why she was coming with Ben and Callum until the second half of the school day began. "We sorted that kid right out. She ain't going near Lex again, and we didn't even need to use Lola's list of scary threats." 

Callum chuckled, because apparently they still had the ability to work together as a team. Ben had almost forgotten what that felt like. 

"You feel better, Lexi?" Ben's eyes softened as he heard Callum ask the little girl who walked between them both of the pavement, her purple backpack hanging off her back as she walked as if she had just won a court case and was relieved. 

She nodded with a smile, "I told you both!" 

Ben raised an eyebrow, "Told us what?" 

"Callum should always be with us." She shrugged, before skipping ahead of them as if she hadn't just left them in a really awkward situation. For a moment, Ben thought about chasing after her, but ultimately decided that he was a grown man and he could face Callum in a grown up way, not a way that left them bickering. 

Callum was already looking at him, a small smile on his face. "Uh, thanks...For, uh letting me come." 

Ben snickered at that, "It was a parents meeting at Lexi's school." Ben joked, trying to keep the humour between them so the conversation didn't become too serious. "I didn't exactly take you to a five star restaurant." 

Callum shrugged, "I meant, you know i like being part of Lexi's life." he added, "I'm glad we were able to sort that, together?" 

Ben nodded, biting at his lip as he motioned towards Lexi. "You want to grab some lunch at The Vic with us?" Although, the second he asked he was instantly regretting it- because why would Callum want to-

"Sure." Callum's reply cut the doubts in his head off. 

"You are not busy?" Ben pushed. 

But Callum shook his head, "I can do lunch." before he nodded towards Lexi, who was waiting for them at the crossing with a grin on her face as she watched them walk side by side. "I just want to make sure she's feeling better." 

"C'mon, slow coaches!" They both chuckled as they heard Lexi's shout. 

Against his better judgement, Ben turned to look at Callum with a smirk, "Race you?" 

Ben didn't even wait for Callum's confirmation as he set off running, hearing Callum's shout of "Hey!" from behind him as he laughed. On his way, he picked Lexi up and threw her over his shoulder much to her amusement as she laughed along with them both, as Ben did his best to outrun Callum despite the fact Callum had much longer legs and was coming up behind them both pretty quickly. 

Ben dodged Whitney and Tiff as he turned the corner onto the square, Lexi still giggling as she hung over his shoulder and warned him that Callum was catching up and with The Vic in sight, Ben had almost claimed victory when he almost knocked into a guy. 

"Shit, sorry mate!" He stopped, as he pulled back to check that he hadn't completely knocked the guy off his feet. Fortunately, he was still standing and didn't look pissed- but instead of looking at Ben, he was looking past him and smiling and it didn't take Ben long to realise who he was looking at. 

"Callum, there you are." Stuart sighed as he came up and stood beside the new guy, just as Ben had managed to catch his breath back and placed Lexi on the floor. "We've been looking everywhere for you." He added, as he sent a look towards Ben, Stuart knowing for a fact who Callum had been with. 

Ben turned to look back at Callum, the smile dropping from his face as Callum finally found his voice, 

"Oliver?" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you all had a nice New Years (as nice as it can be anyway) x


	11. 11. you're burning up my mind what would it feel like if you tore me apart?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was inevitable after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> James Bay - Chew on my heart

Callum really wasn't trying to be dramatic right now, but in all honesty, he wanted the ground to swallow him whole. 

Because on one side of him he had a bright eyed Oliver, who was looking at him as if seeing Callum alone was the best thing that had happened to him all week. While on the other side of Callum stood Ben and Lexi, the little girl staring between Callum and the stranger to her as if she was trying to figure out why this guy was so happy to see him. 

Ben, on the other hand, was staring at Oliver through narrowed eyes- a look that almost matched his daughters. 

"Come over here then!" Oliver laughed as he reached out and grabbed Callum's hand. He barley had any time to react or prepare for the kiss before Oliver was wrapping his arms around him and then pulled away to give him a hug. "I've missed you so much." Was what Oliver mumbled into Callum's shoulder, despite the fact that Callum's eyes remained on Ben who refused to break eye contact with him from where Callum was looking over Oliver's shoulder. 

When Callum finally found his voice, he chuckled- although it came out more like an exhale. "What are you doing here?" _Because you definitely weren't supposed to be here, this wasn't the plan!_

Thankfully, Oliver didn't look offended by Callum's question as he shrugged, "Got time off work." He added, "Wanted to give you a surprise. I also wanted to see where you had grown up." 

Callum wanted to laugh at that, because Callum had never planned on giving Oliver a tour around Walford, but apparently he had no choice in the matter now as they were currently stood right in the middle of the square with eyes on them. In fact, Callum could see Kat smirking from only a couple of feet away on her stall, but tried to hide it behind her cup of coffee. 

"That's great-" Callum managed, keeping his smile on his face despite the discomfort he felt. 

Stuart must have been able to feel it as cringed behind Oliver's back, speaking up to drag the attention off Callum. "How about we grab a coffee at the cafe?" Was his suggestion, and Callum was thankful that at least he had a plan.

Oliver looked like he was about to say yes when Lexi spoke up, "Callum?" She said, "Aren't you coming with us?" 

It was then that Oliver realised there were two other people still in this conversation as he glanced towards Lexi and Ben and Callum instantly wanted his attention elsewhere. Ben looked unfazed as Oliver looked at him, while Lexi continued to stare back at Callum, waiting for a response. 

It was Ben who spoke up, "C'mon babe, Callum's busy." He offered, "We need to get you food before maths." 

However, when he started to walk away, Lexi stayed put. 

"We could always go grab food with them if you had plans with your friends?" Oliver offered, and Callum instantly regretted not getting them out of this situation before it went this far as Lexi continued to look confused, 

And Callum figured that it was his time to make up some excuse as to why they couldn't follow Ben and Lexi for food when Ben started to chuckle. And Callum knew Ben, it wasn't a laugh that indicated he was amused, in fact, it was quite the opposite and Callum braced himself for what was coming- 

"Friends, sure, that's what we are." He laughed, extending his hand for Lexi to take. This time she did, "Right Cal, best friends?" 

Callum gave him a desperate look, but by now it was clear that Oliver had already picked up on the fact something was wrong. Ben, however, made it worse by continuing, "Sorry, i probably should've said." He held his hand out in Oliver's direction, smiling as Oliver accepted the handshake. "I'm Ben." 

The look Callum got from Oliver was enough to tell him that he had figured out what was going on here, before his attention was returning to Ben. "Ben as in?" 

"As in the husband, yeah that Ben." He said, as he waved Stuart off who tried to defuse the situation by mouthing something to Ben that Callum couldn't make up from the angle. Whatever it was, evidently didn't work as Ben added. "Interesting that me and you look nothing alike right? I'm thinking Cal might have done that on purpose." 

When Oliver made no attempt to speak, Ben raised his eyebrow and glanced down at himself before his eyes returned to Oliver, "What? Didn't expect me?" 

Still, Oliver didn't speak, so Ben shrugged. "Don't worry, i'll take the awkwardness out of this situation." Before he looked at Lexi, "Lex say bye to Cal." 

She looked unsure, but all Callum needed to do was open his arms and she was wrapping her arms around his waist, hugging back. He almost didn't want to let go out of fear that he had upset her, but the smile she gave him in response was enough to reassure him as she walked back over to Ben. 

The second the pair were out of sight, Callum turned to Oliver whose smile didn't have the same amount of energy it had before behind it. 

_This was going to be fun._

_aged 16_

_"I'm not afraid to say, your boy looks good out there." Ben turned his head to look at Jay who took the seat beside him and passed Ben the bottle of coke zero on request. He gave his best friend a look, which Jay clearly understood as he looked away and chuckled, "Lola, Callum looks good in his football kit, right?"_

_"Definitely." Lola confirmed as she picked at the chips in the container on her lap. "But, Ben is the jealous type, so i'd be quiet."_

_"I'm not jealous-" Ben argued, although he kept his eyes on his boyfriend as he gained control of the ball again._

_As painful as it was to sit outside in England during the month of October in the pouring down rain, since they had gotten together Ben had attended every game Callum had been part of in their last year of school, he wasn't about to stop now._

_"You threatened to pull an extension out of my head the other day because i fell asleep on him." She argued, although there was no anger behind it. "I was watching a movie, fell asleep and you took personal offence by it."_

_Ben fought the urge to argue back and point out that Jay had been right there and instead she chose Callum, so instead he just kept his eyes on Callum who ran across the pitch, the colour of his kit almost unrecognisable as a result of the mud that was covering him. Ben knew that he would be giving up his spare hoodie that he had in his backpack as soon as Callum came over during the game break._

_It only took another five minutes before their headteacher blew the whistle and motioned for them to all take a break. And as much as Ben didn't enjoy sports, he knew that their school was winning the other team, which was evident by the way Callum as grinning as he walked over to the three of them._

_"Hey guys-" Callum started as he reached them, wiping the mud that had somehow found its way onto his neck._

_As soon as Callum's eyes landed on him, he knew what was about to happen and the second he tried to jump up from the uncomfortable plastic chair that their teachers had put on the grass for them, Callum was reaching for him._

_"No, Cal-" He protested, despite the laughter that was already taking over. He attempted to escape his boyfriends hold, not wanting to be covered in mud too, but Callum managed to successfully latch onto his arm and pull him backwards until they were trapped in a hug. "You're sweaty and muddy." Ben groaned, although there wasn't any actual annoyance behind his words._

_"You weren't complaining before." Callum argued, and Ben couldn't deny that._

_And this time it was Ben who lifted his head and attached their lips, smiling into the kiss when he noticed Callum flipping off his team mates who whistled in the background._

"Is this yours?" Callum looked up from where he had been staring at his phone to see Oliver holding his football shirt that he had kept from school. It was old and over worn, but something he refused to ever get rid of. 

"Yeah." He smiled. "I used to play in school." 

Oliver looked surprised at that, clearly Callum hadn't told him enough about his teenage years. Maybe that's because a good portion of those years after the age of fifteen consisted of Ben. "You'll have to show me some pictures." Oliver added, as he turned the shirt around to see _Halfway_ written across the back. Sure, it was a senior school football kit, he wasn't exactly playing for Manchester United, but Walford High was good enough for him. It was when Oliver's eyes glanced down to the bottom of the shirt, where _Mitchell_ was written in Ben's messy handwriting. 

It was then when Callum cleared his throat and took the shirt from Oliver's hands, choosing to change the subject. "I can find a few photos from school around here somewhere." 

He shoved the shirt in the first draw he came across before he moved towards his desk, pulling out a photo album and quickly glanced through it. The first couple of pictures were of him when he was little, a rare few of his parents with him and Stuart- although most were only him and Stu. He finally found a couple of him as a teenager, the longer hair and cheesy grin was a recurring event apparently. 

"You look cute." Oliver commented as he looked over Callum's shoulder at the pictures. Callum laughed at that, because the picture he was showing him was not one that could be described as 'cute'. 

When Callum flipped the page again, his smile dropped as right in front of both of them was a picture of him and Ben. They must have been around the age of seventeen when it had been taken, and the camera quality wasn't great but Callum was smiling directly at the camera, while Ben was looking at him, his arm thrown over Callum's shoulder and both looked genuinely happy. 

The silence between him and Oliver indicated that Oliver too realised how happy they both looked in the picture. 

There was a polaroid picture beside it, but this was only of Ben. He would've been around nineteen, and was laying on his back on the bed, grinning up at the camera, at who Callum assumed was him. 

Callum shut the book, 

"You were together for a long time." Oliver started, as Callum threw it back onto the desk, suddenly regretting bringing Oliver back here to what seemed like a shrine to his and Ben's relationship. 

"Yeah, we were pretty young." Callum mumbled, careful to avoid Oliver's line of sight. 

Callum was thankful when Oliver turned around and continued to distract himself with pictures of a young Callum, forgetting the conversation involving Ben just happened. 

Callum only wished he had that ability. 

Callum knew he was playing with fire as he left Oliver on a work call back at Stuart's, deciding that a trip to the shop would be enough of a distraction while Oliver was busy. 

However, as Callum shut the door behind him, instead of glancing in the direction of the square which would lead him to the shop, he headed straight in the direction of Ben's. 

Callum knew he had no business here anymore, after all, Ben had signed the papers and Oliver was here now. But that didn't stop him knocking on the front door of his old house, glancing over his shoulder to see if anybody was out. 

He spotted Peter Beale walking across the square, but it was otherwise empty, as it was dark out. 

It didn't take Ben long to answer the door, but when he did, he took one look at Callum and sighed before turning around and walking back into the living room. However, he left the door wide open, so Callum took that as an invite inside. 

He walked into the living room and found Ben laying across the sofa, wearing a pair of adidas joggers and a hoodie that was a little oversized. "Thought you'd be back in Manchester." Ben noted, although kept his eyes on the TV as Callum stood in the doorway of the room. 

"Soon." Callum replied, waiting to see if that got any reaction from Ben, when it didn't he continued. "I just-" 

Ben looked up at him then, his eyes narrowed as he cut Callum off. "Does your guy know you are here?" 

Callum shook his head, and Ben chuckled, rubbing at his jaw as his eyes returned to the TV. "You used to preach about honesty with me." He added, "Ain't that lying?" 

Callum rolled his eyes, his eyes focused on a picture that was still in the same place as it had been before Callum left. A picture of them both about five minutes after saying i do, _just look at them now._ "I didn't come for you to lecture me about my relationship with Oliver." 

Ben shrugged, "Why are you here then?" 

Callum himself didn't even know how to respond to that, but when Ben sat up from the sofa and actually looked at him, no teasing behind his expression, he sighed. 

What he didn't expect was for Ben to lift his chin and turn his face towards him, "If you want to make it work with that guy, you should go." He said, his face blank. "Clearly it doesn't work, me and you in the same place...Turns out you were right to leave in the first place." 

Callum frowned at that, because if Callum hadn't of left, maybe they would have still been together now. 

But now Ben was suggesting it was the better option. 

When Callum made no effort to move, Ben placed a hand on the back of his neck and pulled him forwards. On instinct, Callum allowed himself to be moved, their faces inches apart, despite the logical side of Callum telling himself to struggle out of Ben's hold. 

As Ben leaned forward to press a kiss to Callum's cheek, it was Callum that made the move to turn his head to capture Ben's lips. 

He felt Ben tense for only a second before he was opening his mouth and Callum's tongue was moving between them as they parted. Ben's grip around the back of his neck tightened as Callum tilted his head to deepen the kiss, the logical side of him beaten as he continued to kiss him. 

Their kiss is desperate as Ben slots his body against Callum's, the both of them trying to get as much of each other as possible. 

It was only the sound of Callum's phone ringing that pulled them both apart panting. Callum ignored the phone and instead pressed a finger to his own lips, staring back at Ben with uncertainty. 

It was Ben who made the first move, he reached into Callum's jacket pocket and pulled the phone out, seeing Oliver's name calling and lit up on the screen. His expression returned to it's usual cold version, opening Callum's palm and placing his phone on it. 

"You should go back to him." Was what Ben said. 

"Ben-" Callum tried, 

"Cal, you're making this harder." He snapped, making Callum flinch. As soon as Ben noticed that, he sighed, forcing his voice to soften. "Go home, Callum. Please." 

When Callum didn't move, Ben groaned. "I'm telling you to walk away this time, go." 

Callum backed away this time, his eyes moving between the picture of their wedding and Ben, who looked in physical pain despite the way he tried to hide it between a cold expression. "I'll go." Callum finally found his voice, he stood in the doorway and looked at Ben, "I did walk out on us, and i'm sorry i hurt you by leaving." He watched as Ben looked away from him, his jaw clenched. "But don't think for a minute, that i ever stopped loving you this entire time." 

And then Callum was forcing himself to walk away for the second time, slamming the door behind him and leaving again. 


	12. 12. it doesn't matter where you are, you can keep my regret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kygo, Miguel - Remind me to forget
> 
> i really struggle to write descriptions ok
> 
> listen, shoutout to eastenders for the inspo for this particular chapter. i owe you one, truly.

"Are you going so soon?" Callum knew it was coming, the sad looks and the _are you sure you can't stay?_ But it didn't make it any harder to tell people that he was going back to Manchester. And what was worse is that he could stay, technically he still had enough time off work to be able to show Oliver around London, and even Oliver had suggested they stay longer. 

Callum, however, used every excuse he could possibly think of as to why they needed to return to Manchester, carefully forgetting to mention that the reason he was so desperate to return was because coming back to Walford was a terrible mistake and if he didn't leave now, he'd be afraid that he never would. 

"Yeah, work duties." Callum shrugged, which was somewhat of a lie, so he ignored the quick glance that Oliver gave him from his left.

Mick nodded from behind the bar, accepting that excuse. Callum only wished that everybody had taken it like that, when he had told Stuart last night that he was going back to Manchester the following day, his brother had instantly said, "Is it to do with Ben?" and then had proceeded to list all the reasons as to why Callum could stay without the need to bump into Ben. 

Linda, in her usual cheerful manner, rushed around the side of the bar to pull him into a cuddle and it was only then did he noticed how dressed up she was. "Something happening today?" He had also noticed how packed The Vic was, which was only growing as he and Oliver said their goodbyes. 

"Wedding." She replied, before her attention was taken elsewhere by another customer. Mick flashed another smile before following after Linda, Callum taking the opportunity to turn towards Oliver with a smile. 

"Still sure you want to leave today?" Oliver questioned, a smile on his face as he placed a comforting hand on Callum's arm. Callum's eyes glanced across the room again, seeing many people he would consider friends sat in their usual seats, reminding him what he was comfortable here. Although, sometimes being too comfortable is not always the best option. 

So he nodded, "I think it's time to go." He knew that he would still have to say a final goodbye to Stuart and Rainie, and he was not leaving the square without saying goodbye to Lexi and promising to see her soon, but as of right now, he was convinced that leaving was the right option. After all, kissing Ben the night before had just proved that it was much easier to live apart, then across the square. 

"Hey, Halfway." His attention returned to Mick as he called over to him, "Could you just manage the bar for two minutes? Something wrong with the cellar, El wants my help." 

He didn't give Callum much chance to reply before he was following after his wife, so Callum just flashed Oliver an apologetic smile and walked around the side of the bar, while Oliver made himself comfortable on one of the stools on the other side. 

As if the world hated him, Ben walked in the pub that same moment, doing a double take when he spotted Callum stood behind the bar. Louise followed after him with Bex, the two of them mumbling their order to Ben before walking off to find a table. 

In typical Ben style, he walked straight towards the bar and ended up only a few steps away from where Oliver sat. Callum saw the moment Oliver noticed who he was looking at, as Ben turned towards Oliver and gave him his best smile before his eyes returned to Callum, "New job?" 

Callum shrugged, "Just watching the bar." before he was adding, "Can i get you something?" 

Ben pulled out the stool from the bar, despite the fact that his sister and her friend that he had clearly arrived with were sat across the room now. "You know the usual." He said, "Bex and Louise just want a coke." 

Oliver watched with careful eyes as Callum noticed, as he did indeed know Ben's usual choice of drink before placing it in front of him. He turned around to grab the two cokes for Louise and Bex, frowning when he noticed the door to the cellar had been closed behind Mick and Linda. However, before he could ponder if they were alright in there, Ben spoke up again. "So you sticking around for a bit?" It only took a moment for Callum to realise Ben wasn't talking to him, but Oliver. 

Fortunately, Oliver was very polite and turned to look at Ben as he replied, "Actually, Callum wants to go back today." 

Callum made sure to avoid Ben's face when Oliver told him that, instead he placed the two cokes in front of Ben and waited before the other man passed over the money. "Huh." Ben smiled as he attempted to balance the three drinks while standing up, "Wonder why that is." Was his last comment before he was wandering off to find his sister. 

Callum just gave Oliver another smile, hoping to ease the tension before his eyes were looking back to the closed door behind him. However, his attention returned to the front as Shirley walked through the door, raising her eyebrow at Callum stood behind the bar. 

He shrugged with a smile, "Barrel problems." 

She nodded, walking around the bar herself before adding. "I got it covered now." She said, but knocked into his shoulder as she passed him. He figured that was her friendly goodbye and for that he gave her one last smile and motioned for Oliver to follow him. "Tell Mick and Linda i'll see them soon, alright?" He called out to Shirley as Oliver slipped into his jacket. 

She waved him off, and as he walked through the pub, Oliver walking ahead, his eyes fell on Ben who was already watching. For a moment, Callum thought he was brave enough to keep up the eye contact, however he forced himself to look away and proceeded to walk out of The Vic, certain that leaving was the best option. 

"C'mon, let's go back to the flat. Check on Stu and Rainie." Callum offered as they began walking across the square, Callum silently reminding himself to not look back at the building he had just walked away from. 

_aged 18_

_"What do you think?" Callum turned from where he had been watching Ronnie and Roxy duet to my heart will go on on the makeshift stage that had been put into place at The Vic for the wedding, their wedding party to be exact. He looked at Ben with an amused glint in his eyes, after all, Ronnie and Roxy weren't exactly Celine Dion after too many cocktails._

_"Not too bad." Callum answered Ben's question, "I reckon they'd get to the judges houses on the X Factor, at least."_

_Ben rolled his eyes at Callum's comment, knocking his shoulder slightly. "I meant today, dummy."_

_"You mean our wedding?" Callum smirked, "We got married, we could've gotten married in your dad's garage and it would still be the happiest day of my life."_

_Ben's eyes softened at that, but continued with the playfullness. "I mean, it wasn't exactly classy."_

_Callum mocked fake offence, before he was adding. "Classy?" He chuckled, "Who are you talking to? The Queen?"_

_Ben sighed, leaning back in his chair while cringing at Roxy's high note in the background. "You're spending too much time with my family, their sarcasm is rubbing off on you."_

_"Well, they're my family now too." Callum commented as he lifted his drink up, mimicking a cheers with his bottle as he caught Peggy's eye from across the room where she sat with Phil._

_The next time Callum turned to look at Ben, the brunette was looking at him as if he had just admitted to hanging the moon and stars in the sky. When in reality, Callum had referred to the Mitchells as his family._

_"You're soft." Ben commented, although the look he gave Callum was far from teasing._

_Just as he leant in for a kiss, Whitney was tapping the mic a little eagerly from across the room. "Um, newly weds, it's time for your duet."_

_Callum took one look at the horror on Ben's face and knew this was always going to be the best day of his life._

"You sure you don't want to stay a little longer?" Stuart suggested for the sixth time in under an hour. Callum paused from where he was placing his bag in the boot of Oliver's car and sighed, giving his brother a look that read, _are we about to do this again?_

Fortunately, Stuart's expression suggested that he had received the message and shut up. 

"You're going to come back and visit, right?" Stuart asked instead. "Don't leave it so long next time." 

Callum nodded, slamming the door of the car shut as he turned fully towards his brother. "Course." He assured, "I've promised Lex to take her to see The Lion King musical soon." He chuckled. 

Stuart smiled, "So, you and Ben..." And Callum instantly wanted to change the subject of the conversation again, as it had been going so well. 

However, before he even had the chance to protest against whatever Stuart was about to say, the sound of a gunshot became evident and Callum was startling, instinctively moving closer to his brother. It was only when Rainie came flying out of the flat, with Oliver only a few seconds behind her that Callum found himself looking towards The Vic, as a result of the police cars pulling up and... _Ben._

"Wait, what are you doing?" Stuart shouted as Callum's feet started to move as if they had a mind of his own, ignoring his brothers attempts to stop him, he continued to walk towards the pub he hadn't left that long ago. 

"Callum." Stuart snapped as he finally caught up to him, grabbing his brothers arm despite Callum knowing he could break free if he really wanted to. It took one look between him and Stuart for Stuart to know why Callum was so desperate to get there, and for once, he let him go. 

He spotted Sharon first, she was attempting to talk to an officer who was placing a barrier between The Vic and the public up. The moment she looked up and made eye contact with him his movement started to quicken, "What's happening?" Was the only words he could find as she looked far from calm. 

"Hunter, Mel's son." She started, and Callum frowned, because was Hunter hurt? But then Sharon was knocking that idea from his mind, "He has a gun...I don't know what's happening but they are trapped in there and we are out here." 

Callum almost didn't want to ask, but forced himself to anyway. "Whose in there?" 

It only took one look from her to confirm his worst fear and then she was adding, "Ben and Louise." But he didn't have much chance to think about that as Phil was already rushing towards her, capturing her attention and suddenly Callum wanted nothing more than to run inside that pub right now. 

As soon as Stuart caught up to him, he was breathless, looking between Phil who looked murderous and Callum who looked devastated. It didn't take a genius to figure out what Callum and Phil had in common, or more importantly, who Callum and Phil had in common. 

"He's in there." Callum breathed out, before his head fell into his hands, as if saying it out loud made it real. "Hunter has a gun...And Ben is in there." 

Stuart looked back at Rainie, as if he was trying to figure out the best way to soothe his brother, but Callum noticed how he kept a careful hand on Callum's arm, as if he was certain that he was about to make a run for the door. It was then that Callum looked towards Oliver, who was looking back at him with a knowing look. 

Callum knew he had never been successful with the concept of a poker face. 

It was the next gunshot that had Callum pulling away from Stuart, but his brother was quicker and managed to grab a hold of him again. "Ben-" Callum started, but was instantly cut off by Stuart. 

"Is fine." Stuart promised, one that Callum hoped he wouldn't live to regret. "We don't know what's happening in there." 

"Exactly." Callum shouted back, a little desperate now, hating that Stuart wasn't as panicked as he felt. 

He glanced over to the officers, tugging free of Stuart's hold to reach towards the banner, pausing when he heard, "One man shot." through the police officers radio. 

He barley had time to panic over the fact that he had no idea if that was Ben or not, when the door of The Vic was opening and Hunter was walking out, Louise being pushed ahead of him with a gun pressed into the space between her shoulder blades. Callum could hear Phil shouting for his daughter in the background, although it sounded a little too distant for Callum's liking, and as soon as Hunter and Louise were in the middle of the square, Callum was ducking under the barrier, despite Oliver's shout of protest and running straight towards the door that Hunter had just dragged his sister-in-law through. 

The first thing he found when he entered The Vic was a hysterical Lisa who was desperate to follow after her daughter and Jack who was trying to calm her down. However, content that the danger was now on the outside, he pushed through the crowd, ignoring Shirley's sad, "Halfway." as she tried to prevent him from going any further, as if she was trying to stop him seeing something. 

That only made him move faster. 

"Callum-" Mick warned the second he spotted him, because Callum was staring directly towards Ben who was on the floor. Ben who had been shot, confirming that the unsettling feeling that Callum had felt hadn't been wrong. 

Callum ignored Mick's warning and dropped to the floor, looking at Sonia who was leaning over him, trying to hear his heartbeat. "Ben..." Callum started, aware of almost the entire square watching them. When Ben made no movement, Callum tried not to panic, placing a comforting hand against his cheek as he spoke again, "Ben, i'm here. It's okay, it'll be okay now." 

He looked up at Sonia, panic rushing through him as her face didn't look quite comforting either. 

He was desperate and he didn't care if everyone was watching, nor did he care who was watching. "Please, Sonia." He started, his voice borderline begging. "Please, i love him." 

As unconfident as she looked, she nodded. "I need to open up his lungs." she said, "He needs to breathe." 

Callum watched as she lined up a knife over Ben's chest and he cringed, hating the sound of the skin breaking as he ran a comforting hand through Ben's hair. His eyes searching Ben's face for signs of life, because if this was it, Callum would never get over it. He would never be able to live after Ben. 

Because he would always love Ben. He would always love Ben more than he could possibly love another person on the entire planet, and sat on the floor of the pub where they had their wedding party aged eighteen, with Ben bleeding in his arms. Callum was only certain that falling out of love was not an option, and instead, it would always hurt. 

He let out a sob he hadn't realised he had been holding in the second Sonia pulled her finger away from the end of the pen and Ben gasped for air, his chest rising and failing like before and Callum was crying, thanking her as he pressed his forehead to Ben's, despite the other man's delirious state. 

"Thank you." He told Sonia as she got up to comfort Bex, knowing that the paramedics would take over for Ben now. 

When he felt a comforting hand on his shoulder, he looked up and found Linda looking down at him. "The whole time." She started, her voice sounding sad. "From the moment he as shot, he was asking for you. Mick tried to keep him awake by talking to him, so Ben talked about you and Lexi the entire time." 

She wiped another fallen tear from his eye, before he was glancing back down at Ben whose eyes were flickering. Callum took it as his opportunity to brush his fingers through Ben's hair once more, "Hey, Ben...Are you back with us?" He asked, only looking up to see the paramedics rushing through the door and looking around to locate Ben. 

Callum stepped back and allowed them to secure Ben's wound, making it safe for the journey to the hospital. It was when they lifted Ben onto the stretcher that Callum broke away from the hug Linda was giving him, to ask, "Can i go with him?"

The paramedic nodded quickly, motioning for Callum to follow. 

When he made it outside, he spotted Oliver who was still stood beside Rainie. For a moment he looked between Oliver and the ambulance that they were putting Ben into. 

When the paramedic asked, "Are you coming?" Callum gave one glance towards Oliver, who simply nodded, and then proceeded to climb into the ambulance. 

He sat down in the chair beside where Ben was laying and allowed himself to cry, as if today had been his worst fear come to life. Ben dying. Although, Callum had always assumed that Ben would've got himself killed in a different way. 

He reached out and entwined their fingers, careful of Ben's limp hand. 

"I'm sorry i wasn't there." He whispered, aware of the paramedic that was sitting near. "Not just today...The entire time, i'm sorry i ever left you." 

He continued to cry, and it was only when he felt the hand in his own squeeze back, that he felt the first sense of peace that he hadn't felt in over three years. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes...apparently i felt the need to write that scene


	13. 13. this could be the end of everything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> somewhere only we know - keane 
> 
> tw - mentions of depression

Callum noticed two things when he first opened his eyes. 

One, he was not in his usual bedroom, nor was he even in a bed. 

Two, his neck was in a lot of pain from the position he had clearly slept in, he was almost afraid to lift his head up from where it was resting on the edge of the bed. However, his brain finally caught up with him and he remembered where he was, and why he was here. 

Forcing himself to sit up in the worlds most uncomfortable hospital chair, he looked straight towards Ben who was still asleep in the hospital bed. He would panic, but when the paramedics rushed him in yesterday, it was night and they had reassured Callum that he needed the rest. So as much as Callum wanted to google, _how long does it take a patient who has lost a lot of blood to wake up,_ he decided against it. 

It took him a moment, but he realised that Kathy was sat in the chair in the other side of the room, looking as tired as Callum assumed he looked too. She gave him a small smile when she realised he had spotted her, before clearing her throat to talk. "Thank you." Was the first thing she said, which surprised Callum to say the least. 

He and Kathy had always been close, after all, they had a mutual interest in keeping Ben out of prison or danger. But this was the first time in three years that they were able to talk alone. 

She continued when she noticed the confusion on his face, "For being with him." She added, motioning to Ben in the bed. "I hate the thought of him going to the hospital alone...And, i'm glad it was you." 

He smiled sadly at her words, before nodding, because _of course,_ the second he had saw him on the floor he knew he wasn't leaving. 

Another few moments of comfortable silence passed between them before Callum was speaking again, "Hunter?" He questioned, hoping that at least the police had managed to arrest him. He had no idea of what prompted Hunter to lock himself and half of the square in The Vic, or why it was Ben that ended up getting shot. Right now though, he was content in knowing if Ben was safe. 

"He's dead." She sighed. 

Leaning back in his chair, he prayed the next question he would get the right answer too. "Louise...Please tell me she's okay?" 

Kathy nodded quickly, wanting to reassure him. "She's okay." She added, "Phil's been in this morning to check on Ben, Lou wants to come see him today too." 

Callum nodded, figuring he must have been in a deep sleep to not even notice that family were coming in to check on Ben. 

"Uh." She started, "A couple of people have been calling you...I might have put your phone on silent, i thought you could do with the sleep. The nurse had told me to check in on you too, she said you were panicking last night?" 

For a second he was quiet, before he admitted with a sigh of defeat. "It's Ben." He shrugged, "For a moment, i was convinced he was going to die Kathy." 

She stood up and walked around Ben's bed, leaning down to pull Callum into a hug, that he instantly appreciated. It was the first person to give him a hug since he saw the guy he had loved since he was sixteen bleeding out on the floor. "I know, darling." She placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, before motioning towards the door. "I'm just going to make a few calls, and then i'll grab us a coffee, okay?" 

He thanked her and watched her leave the room, so it was just him and Ben again. 

Callum was unsure how long he sat there in silence, ignoring his phone that was across the room and simply staring at Ben, obsessing over the way his chest was rising and falling. He was convinced if he looked away, Ben would stop breathing. 

However, what he didn't expect was for Ben's eyes to suddenly open and for him to try pull himself up, evidently panicking as he grasped at the wires attached to him. Callum was up in an instant, aware that Ben couldn't see him from where he was sat, and placed a gentle hand against Ben's cheek. At first he startled when he felt the hand on his face, but when he was clear that it was Callum, he started to take deep breaths, trying to calm himself down. 

"It's okay." Callum tried to reassure. "You're in the hospital, it's okay." 

Ben just continued to attempt to stabilise his breathing, not taking his eyes off Callum in the process. 

"I should go get a nurse." Callum suggested, however that idea was instantly scrapped as Ben grabbed ahold of his wrist, shaking his head and not wanting to lose sight of Callum. So, he stayed where he was, gently stroking his thumb across the side of Ben's face. 

It took another five minutes, before Ben's breathing had evened out and the grip he had on Callum's wrist was no longer as tight as it had been. 

"You stayed?" Ben whispered, his voice hoarse. 

Callum's eyes softened, "Of course." He promised, although he understood why Ben would have assumed he would leave, it's not like it was the first time. "I've been here all night." 

Ben nodded slowly, before looking more alert. "Louise? Is anyone else hurt?" 

"Louise is okay, she's coming to see you soon." Callum smiled, pulling the chair closer to the side of the bed so he could sit down without having to move his hand from Ben. "Everyone else is okay...Well, apart from Hunter, he's dead." 

Ben frowned, and for a moment they both just sat there, appreciating the quiet hospital room before Ben was speaking up again, "I thought i was going to die." He admitted, staring up at the ceiling. "I was convinced i would die on the floor of my grandma's old pub, convinced that Lexi would have to mourn her dad and you..." 

Callum blinked away the tears that threatened to fall at the mere thought of what could have happened, listening to Ben as he continued. "I thought of you, i thought of how i had just let you go back to Oliver that night, two nights ago." He whispered, "Thought about how we kissed and how much i wanted to tell you to stay, to stay with me and leave Oliver but instead i told you to leave. I hated the fact that i was going to die and you thinking that i didn't want you." 

Callum tried to comfort him, "I would never have thought that." 

But Ben just added, "I kept thinking of how i was a bad dad, a bad husband." He managed to carry on before Callum had the chance to protest. "How you and Lexi were my entire life and i was going to leave you both. How i was going to leave Lexi before i even got the chance to go to her school play that she wants me to go to next week...How i was going to leave and you wouldn't know how desperate i was for you to pick me." 

"You're the best dad...You know how much that little girl adores you?" Callum managed to add, desperate for Ben to understand that. "And, Ben, i'm sorry...You are not a bad husband, you taught me what love was. When i met you, i had just come out to my dad and he hated me for it, i only had Stuart. I started to think that if my own dad hates me for who i am, maybe i should hate me too." He shrugged, "But then i met you, and i became me." 

"So, you can call yourself a bad dad and bad husband." Callum reached out and grabbed Ben's hand, "But, me and Lexi will keep reminding you of all the reasons you are not." 

"You say i'm not a bad husband." Ben said. "But, i couldn't keep you could i?" 

Callum looked down at their joined hands, "I'm sorry, i'm sorry that i left and i should've told you i was struggling." He added, "I left and wouldn't get out of bed for days, i couldn't even cry for you. I was depressed Ben, and that's not your fault, you are the one person who loved me for who i was instantly. I know i left because i couldn't handle what you were doing with your dad, but it was because i couldn't handle the thought of something happening to you, of loosing you. Which is ironic, considering i left...But i thought, hey, maybe it won't hurt as bad if i don't watch yourself put yourself in danger, i was wrong." 

And by now Callum realised he was crying, and Ben was squeezing his hand in a comforting way. "I'm so sorry this happened to us." He cried, "I almost wish we could go back to being sixteen-" 

"I don't." Ben cut him off. 

And at first Callum felt a pang of hurt in his chest, because maybe Ben no longer wanted what they used to have. But then was adding, "I don't need to go back in time, Cal." he added, "There's not one bone in my body that loves you any less than i loved you then. I'll always love you that way, and we are still them." 

"And i know this is awkward, because you are with Oliver and all." Ben said. "But, I don't care. You will always be my person, and he may deserve you. I'm sure he's a great guy, but i don't know if he could ever love you like i love you." 

Callum found himself kissing Ben before his brain even caught up with his plans, careful of Ben's wound as he leaned over him and pressed a kiss to his lips. When Callum went to move back, out of fear of physically hurting Ben, the other man pulled him back in for another. 

"I love you." Callum whispered as they pulled apart, his hand holding the back of Ben's head. 

"I love you too, babe." Was Ben's reply. 

For a few minutes they allowed themselves to enjoy peaceful silence between them, blocking out the rest of the world as Ben laid carefully in his bed and Callum's head rested on the pillow by him, tracing his hand up and down Ben's arm in a gentle motion. 

"Are we doing this?" Ben asked, sounding quiet and unusually nervous. 

"Yeah." Callum replied softly. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm sorry i ever did." 

He kissed the side of Ben's forehead, as Ben asked, "What about Oliver?"

"I'll talk to Oliver." Callum sighed, knowing he deserved the anger he was likely to receive from Oliver. 

"I can come with you?" Ben offered, entwining their fingers once more. 

Callum chuckled, "I'm not sure that's a good idea." 

Ben shrugged, but listened. 

"I mean...I did have you first." 

Callum tried to hide his smile at Ben's words, "And that is exactly why you will not be talking to Oliver." 

"Lexi's going to love this." Ben grinned, lifting their joined hands to press a kiss to Callum's. 

"I love this." Callum laughed. 

It was only when they glanced up to see Stuart in the doorway did Callum's smile drop. After all, he was currently laying in a cramped hospital bed with Ben while holding hands, they weren't exactly being subtle about it. 

"Uh, i'll be back, okay?" He turned to Ben, ignoring the look of sadness that flashed across Ben's face. When he stood up to follow Stuart out of the room, he felt Ben's hand on his arm and he looked back at him. "What's wrong? Do you not feel well?" 

Ben looked a little uncomfortable, but spoke. "What if you talk to your brother...Or Oliver, and change your mind about me?" 

Callum's heart broke at Ben's words, but he ignored Stuart waiting for him outside and walked back to Ben, grabbing either side of his face and bringing their mouths together in a kiss. When they pulled away, Callum placed his forehead against Ben's. "I promise, that ain't going to happen." 

Callum was thankful when Ben's smile grew, before he was letting Callum pull away, waving him off with a grin. 

When he got outside of the room, he was slapped in the face with reality. 

"Have you forgotten about Oliver?" Stuart asked in a hushed tone, "Or have i suddenly gone back in time." 

Callum sighed, running his hand through his hair. "I haven't forgotten, Stu. No." He added, "I'm going to go talk to Oliver. But i couldn't leave Ben, not before he woke." 

Stuart was quiet for a moment before he was sighing, "I found the papers, Callum." 

Callum stomach dropped, knowing exactly what Stuart was referencing but he was trying to weigh up his options with how to react. 

However, Stuart was already adding. "Funnily enough, your divorce papers. You know the ones you were supposed to be handing in." He said. "But even better, i checked and Ben's signature is clearly there...Yours though? Nowhere to be seen." 

Callum head into found his hands and he wished he was back in the comfort of Ben's hospital room where he wasn't being questioned about his clear lies that he had told Oliver. He had told Oliver that the divorce was going through, failing to mention that Callum hadn't even signed the papers, or handed them in. 

"Why, Callum?" Was Stuart's question. 

Deciding to take the honest route, Callum dropped down onto the chair behind him. "I couldn't divorce him, Stu." He admitted, "I tried to sign the papers, multiple times...But, every time felt like i was doing something i'd live to regret. I couldn't divorce him." 

"But you were going to leave?" 

"Yeah, i hoped that going back to Manchester would help, that i'd sign them once i was down there." Callum sighed, "But then the shooting happened and i realised it doesn't matter where i am, i'm always going to love him." 

He waited for Stuart's lecture, he waited for Stuart to call him and idiot and for Stuart to tell him how great Oliver was and how Ben is that Mitchell kid that was never good enough for Callum in the first place. 

However, it never came. Instead, Stuart dropped down in the chair beside his brother and knocked their shoulders together. 

"I know, Callum." He said. "I knew from the moment you came back that you still loved Ben, it was obvious. You still have that love sick puppy face that you had when you were sixteen when i tried to lock you in your room so you couldn't go meet him." 

Callum laughed at that memory, "You know i climbed out of the window and went to him when you did that." 

Stuart nodded, "Oh don't worry, i know." Stuart's face turned serious for a moment, turning to look at Callum. "I am sorry for not instantly warming to Ben when you first met...It was just, you and me, back then we were all each other had, i was protective." 

Callum smiled, knocking their shoulders again as a form of affection. He was content with the fact that Stuart and The Mitchells...And now Rainie, were his family. "And now?" 

"C'mon, it's Ben. You know i love the guy now." Stuart teased, "I just want you happy, bruv." 

Callum smiled, "I know what makes me happy."

_He knew from the moment he met Ben._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> catch you all in the next chapter


	14. 14. and when the seasons change, will you stand by me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mind over matter - young the giant

Callum sighed as he stepped out of the cab and rubbed at his face, attempting to wake himself up from the sleep deprived state he was currently in. When he had first woken he had ignored how tired he had felt, more focused on Ben in the hospital bed. 

Now however, with the reassurance that Ben was going to be okay, Callum wanted nothing more but to sleep. 

That was not going to happen, he knew that. Because right now he was walking towards Stuart's flat where he knew Oliver would be, Oliver who most likely knew where Callum had stayed last night, curled up on the seat beside his husbands hospital bed. 

As he pushed open the door his eyes instantly found Rainie's, who was sat around the breakfast table with a coffee in front of her. She startled when Callum looked in, but looked almost thankful when she noticed it was him. She looked at Oliver with careful eyes who was facing away from Callum, staring at Good Morning Britain it seemed. 

Callum sighed. Rainie dropped her now empty mug in the sink and grabbed her coat, stopping beside Callum on her way out. She leaned in close and whispered, "How's Ben?" 

His lip quirked slightly at the mention of his name, before he replying. "He's okay. Awake and recovering." He whispered back. 

She looked pleased and squeezed his shoulder before leaving him alone with Oliver. 

Callum decided the only thing he could say was _i'm sorry,_ which is exactly what he did, said sorry. 

Oliver somehow didn't look angry as he finally turned to face Callum, "At first i was okay with it. Y'know, you never talked much about it but i figured that since you literally ran away from the guy, you must hate him." Oliver started speaking, and Callum took this as an opportunity to take a seat across from him. "After all, you made it clear you wanted a divorce. Had dinner with my parents, even entertained the idea of us getting married." 

Callum cringed as he listened to Oliver, but stayed silent to let him get it out. 

"However, you know why i am not surprised?" He asked, before quickly adding. "Because i'm not an idiot, i know exactly where you were last night and i know why." 

"I'm not surprised because from the moment i arrived here and saw you and Ben together, i was kidding myself." He laughed, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "It was so obvious, you looked at him like all you wanted was to tell him you were sorry and he looked like he was five seconds away from begging you to come back to him." 

"Oliver-" He tried, but the other man continued. 

"And at first i thought, even if Ben asked, Callum would say no." He laughed, "But i saw your face when you realised Ben was in that local of yours, i knew at that point that me and you would never work. That's why you are back here right? To tell me you still love him?" 

Callum was quiet for a few seconds before he nodded. 

Oliver sighed, and for a moment Callum was convinced he was about to get mad again. However, Oliver just looked back at him with a sad smile. "Me and you would never have worked. I know you don't love me, i knew the moment i saw you look at Ben because i realised that's how you look when you are in love...And you sure as hell didn't look at me like that." 

"I'm sorry." Callum said, "It's just..." 

Oliver shrugged, "You love him." 

"Yeah." Callum nodded, looking apologetic. 

"We were kidding ourselves, let's be honest." Oliver admitted, "Maybe we both just needed a distraction." 

Callum figured. 

His phone chimed from where it was placed on his knee and he glanced at it, almost sensing Ben's anxious energy over the phone as he had texted Callum, _when are you coming back? Lexi is here x_

"I should probably go back home, see my family and all." Oliver stood up, and it was only then did Callum notice that his bags had been in the corner, ready and packed this entire time. He paused as he lifted up his bag, looking over his shoulder and back at Callum. "You should probably go see yours." 

Callum was thankful that he had taken time out to grab a shower and a change of clothes before returning to the hospital as he felt much more awake as he walked down the familiar corridor towards Ben's room. 

He spotted the nurse who had supported him when he had been panicking when they rushed Ben to surgery, she had sat with him the entire time listening to Callum talk about Ben while attempting to reassure him that Ben was in the best place he could be. He smiled as he noticed him, waving over to him. "Your husband will be happy your back." She laughed, "He's got a room full in there, looks like he's being smothered." 

Suddenly Callum wanted to turn around and go back, because was he really about to face Ben's entire family all at once? 

However, he pushed on and sent another smile over to the nurse before forcing himself to walk into the crowded hospital room. He tried to block out how Kathy, Phil, Ian, Lola and Jay who were all stood around Ben's bed, all turning to look in his direction, and instead focused on Ben and Lexi who both glanced up the second he walked in. 

Lexi jumped off Ben's bed and rushed over to him, dodging her grandad as she ran. "Callum!" Before she was holding her arms out to be picked up. 

He lifted her up and gave her a cuddle, glancing back over to Ben with a smile. "You feeling okay?" He asked, still aware of the eyes on him. Callum wondered if he had told any of them. 

"Better now." Ben smiled as he sat up in the bed, looking in between Lexi and Callum and equally ignoring everyone else in the room. 

After a few more silent moments, Ben sighed. "Okay, go on ask." When everyone else in the room just continued to look innocent, Ben continued. "It's obvious you want to ask, so go ahead, ask." 

Of course, it was Lola who broke the tension. "Are you back together?" 

Ben looked at Callum as if he was waiting for confirmation, so he nodded with a small smile. 

"Yeah-" Although Ben didn't have much time to continue as Lola was rushing towards the room and grabbing Callum, who fortunately had a tight enough hold on Lexi to not drop her and yanked him into a hug. 

"Finally." She sighed as she pulled back to look at him. "You and Ben apart was never right." 

His lip quirked upwards and he shrugged, "I thought so too." 

He smiled as Lola stepped away and Kathy pulled him into another hug, giving him a knowing look as she stepped away again. 

"Glad to have you back mate." Jay said as he slipped his jacket on, leaning over Ben to mess his hair up. "You can deal with this grump now, you know what he's like when he's sick." 

Callum laughed and placed Lexi back down, ducking his head when Lola walked past him and winked. "C'mon Lex, you will see dad and Callum soon." 

Despite her pout she leaned over and gave her dad a hug before doing the same to Callum. Once most of them had left the room, Phil paused in front of Callum with his usual blank expression. For a moment, Callum was unsure where this was about to go until he felt Phil's hand on his shoulder and he received a dignified nod. 

Callum took that as acceptance and smiled. 

Once they were alone, Ben sat up straight in bed and looked back up at Callum with an unreadable expression. He looked stuck between wanting to look happy to looking nervous as to what Callum was about to say. 

"Did you speak with Oliver?" Ben asked. "Does he still want to be with you?" 

Callum could sense Ben's anxiety over his conversation with Oliver, as if speaking to Oliver had convinced Callum that staying with Ben was the wrong decision all of a sudden. 

"Yeah, we spoke." Callum sighed, taking a seat on the edge of Ben's bed and reaching out to entwine their fingers. "He is on his way back to Manchester as we speak, actually." 

Ben looked surprised for a moment before nodding, "So, you're done?" 

Callum nodded, "I think we both knew we were done the moment i came back here, Ben." His lip quirked slightly. 

Ben looked a little too pleased with himself as he placed his hand on the back of Callum's head and pulled him foreword, pressing their lips together. Callum chuckled as Ben fell backwards in the bed, taking Callum down with him. 

It was only when Callum remembered where he was that he pulled away, despite the way Ben's hand stayed on the back of his head. 

"So we are really doing this?" Ben asked. 

Callum hummed, "I'll get back to you on that." However, he left hardly any gap when he added. "Actually...I need to tell you something." 

Ben's smile dropped once more, as if he was preparing himself for bad news. "Listen, i don't know how you are going to take this." He started, "But...You know how you signed the papers?" 

"Oh yeah." Ben looked somewhat defeated, with gave Callum hope for what he was about to tell him. "And that we got a divorce." 

"Would you be mad if i said we weren't?" Callum said, "Divorce, i mean?" 

For a moment Ben looked nothing but confused, so naturally Callum continued. "I never signed the papers." 

They both just stared back at each other for a few seconds, or minutes? Callum wasn't quite sure, because he saw the grin suddenly appear on Ben's face and he was being pulled forward again. "We are still married?" 

"Yeah, Ben." He laughed, their foreheads pressed together. "Still married, no divorce...I couldn't sign them." 

Ben stroked his hair, looking on the verge of tears. "I love you." 

"I love you too." He moved Ben so he could sit fully beside him on the bed, knocking their shoulders together. "Husband." 

\-- 

"Surprise!" 

Ben groaned as he got a got a face full of confetti the second he walked through the door. 

Callum, however, successfully dodged it with a smug grin and walked through their front door after Ben, holding Ben's overnight bag over his shoulder. He chuckled at Ben's reaction that instantly changed as Lexi came running towards him. Although, she managed to stop herself before throwing herself at her dad too quickly. 

"We ordered Chinese!" She declared, the look of excitement on her face as she knew Ben's favourite takeaway. 

"Oh really?" Ben grinned, before sighing. "Who else is in there?" 

Lexi shrugged, "Everyone?" Ben turned to look at Callum with a exhausted look before smiling, "Guess the early night ain't an option?" 

"C'mon." Callum pushed, lifting Lexi up much to her amusement and placing her on his shoulders. Thankful that he was still able to do this to her. "It'll be fun." 

Despite Ben's face, Callum reached out and entwined their fingers, using his spare hand to hold onto Lexi's ankle and walk them all into the living room where half of the Mitchells...And apparently Stuart and Rainie were all waiting for them. 

They both knew that they were in for a night surrounded by family and friends, and as overbearing as they could be, looking across the room to where Ben was currently being pulled into hugs left right and centre, Callum wouldn't have them any other way. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> almost at the end!


	15. 15. always holding your love supreme

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song; 45 by bleachers
> 
> this is more of a short epilogue, thank you for reading!!!

_A year later._

Callum sighed as he dropped his keys onto the kitchen counter, noticing that it was well gone seven and over two hours from when he was actually due home. He dropped his coat on the nearest chair and kicked off his shoes by the door, despite the threat that he had gotten from Ben the other that went something like _if you leave your shoes there one more time, i will burn them_ but they were married, Callum often took those threats with a grain of salt. 

He frowned as he finally stopped moving and noticed how quiet the house actually was. Sure, it was gone seven but it was a Friday which meant Lexi would be here and by now she would usually be forcing them to watch one of her favourite TV shows, or if she was really happy it was the weekend- some kind of game that she would ultimately beat both him and Ben at. 

"Ben? Lex?" He called out as he undid the top button of his shirt, trying to hear a source of noise that would indicate where they were in the house. 

As expected, he pushed the door open to the living room and found them both in there. However, Lexi was passed out on the sofa, tangled playing on the TV which was keeping the room light while Ben sat in the space she had left, his eyes completely focused on the film in front. 

Callum couldn't help but smile as he cleared his throat, grabbing Ben's attention. "Having fun?" He asked, watching as Ben wiggled out from the space he was trapped in on the sofa to walk over to Callum. 

"It's a good movie." Ben shrugged, fully accepting his fate as a tangled fan. Lexi had made them watch it enough, it was no surprise. 

He leaned up to kiss Callum, a hand slipping around the back of his neck before they pulled apart. Ben titled his head to the side as if he was trying to work something out before he placed a hand against Callum's cheek, frowning slightly. "What's wrong?" 

"Nothing is wrong." Callum tried to protest, realising he most likely answered a little too quickly. 

Looking over his shoulder to check Lexi was still asleep, Ben grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the room and back into the kitchen, shutting door carefully behind them both. As soon as it was just them, Ben turned back towards him and gave him one of his knowing looks, waiting for Callum to speak. 

Ultimately, he knew both of them wouldn't be leaving this kitchen until Ben knew what was wrong. 

"Today at work...It was just a bad day." Callum sighed as he pulled out a kitchen chair and dropped down in it, watching as Ben followed suit. "A case i've been pretty focused on involving this little boy, i dunno." 

Ben frowned and covered Callum's hand with his own in an attempt to bring some type of comfort to his husband that had clearly been affected by whatever he has seen at work today. It had taken Callum a long time to figure out what he wanted to do in life, Ben could remember listening to Callum's multiple passions growing up which stretched from wanting to be a vet, to a police officer to a social worker. 

There were loads more options he had gone through, Ben supporting all of his choices either way. 

So, it wasn't much of a surprise when Callum had decided only a couple of months into his return to London that he wanted a new career, one that wasn't office based and where he wasn't making spreadsheets for a living, but instead was doing something that involved people. 

"It's just, it was my first time on a case where the court decided that the child should be removed from their parents care." Callum shrugged, squeezing Ben's hand back when he looked up to see his husband looking concerned. "It was just a shit day, y'know? A lot of paperwork, a lot reports...Which is easy enough, but when you remember this is an actual three year old's life-" 

When Callum had trained to be a social worker, Ben hadn't been surprised. In fact, Callum had been a lot happier in the past year than he had been in a long time, and Ben knew that was partly to his new career. 

Of course, there were those times, like today, where Callum would come home upset. "C'mere." Ben started as he leaned over and got a grip on Callum's chair, dragging it so they were much closer. "I'm sorry, babe...I'm really proud of you." 

Callum's eyes softened at Ben's words, a small ( _but still there!_ ) smile appeared on his face. 

They were quiet for a few minutes, Callum had leant over in the hope that the chair he was leaning on was stable enough as he rested his head on Ben's shoulder, his husband running his hand through his hair in a calming motion. "Ben?" He spoke up, a little too quiet for Ben's liking. 

"What's wrong?" 

"Being on the case for that little boy...It's uh, got me thinking?" Callum sounded nervous, which Ben hated so he pressed a kiss against the side of his head in an attempt to reassure him before he continued. "We are good, right? Me and you?" 

Ben pulled away so he could see Callum's face completely, feeling nervous himself now. "Of course, Cal." He said a little too quickly. "Don't you think so?" 

Callum nodded, "No, we are good. Really good actually." He smiled, before adding. "We have Lexi, the house...We even have a dog now." Callum smiled, knowing their beloved dog Flynn was would be fast asleep upstairs on his usual spot on the landing by now. He and Ben had agreed to finally get a dog around six months ago, Callum had gone back to Manchester for the first time in order to see some of his old friends that he had made there and took Ben and Lexi with him. 

He had gone to see one of his friends from his old job, who happened to have a dog that Lexi instantly fell in love with and had declared on the train ride home back to London that _we need a dog so i can name it Flynn._ Apparently Flynn was named after Flynn from Tangled, what a surprise. 

So, naturally, the week after they had taken Lexi to the rescue shelter and she had met Flynn, their Flynn. 

"I just...I was thinking." Callum continued, dragging Ben out of his daydream. 

"Cal, hurry because you are kinda stressing me out now." Ben urged, making his husband laugh slightly. 

"I work with so many children that need a family, a family like ours." He said. "Have you ever thought...Maybe we should adopt? You know i think Lexi would be a great big sister." 

Ben tried to stop the tears that were so desperate to build in his eyes, but Callum noticed. "Are those bad tears?" 

Ben laughed, "You really want to adopt with me?" 

Callum looked back at him as if he was crazy for a second before nodding, "You're the best dad, Ben." He added, "We are young, are financially stable for the first time...ever, Lex is happy, our families are around us. I want to give a child somewhere they can grow up happy with a family which includes me, you, Lex and Flynn." 

As if he heard his name, Flynn came skidding into the kitchen, ears perking up when he realised his other owner had returned home from work. 

"Hey buddy." Callum laughed as Flynn jumped up so his paws were resting on his legs, letting Callum scratch him behind his ear. He looked back up at Ben and smiled, "I think that's a yes from Flynn...What about you?" 

It barley took Ben two seconds to start nodding, before he was moving around Flynn to kiss Callum, laughing as the dog clearly protested to being ignored suddenly. 

When they pulled apart, Callum placed his forehead against Ben's, stealing another quick kiss before asking, "Is that a yes?" 

"Let's adopt." Ben confirmed, smiling as he placed his hand against the back of Callum's head. "I love you."

"I love you too." Callum breathed out, only pulling away when a tired Lexi appeared in the doorway, looking between them both as if she had no idea where she was or what time it was. Callum didn't blame her, everyone's had those kind of naps. 

They pulled apart so Lexi could climb in between them, sitting on Ben's knee while her legs covered Callum's, content enough to just be hugged. 

Ben looked over his daughter's shoulder and smiled at Callum, the both of them silently agreeing that they'd tell Lexi first. When they were ready, they'd sit Lexi down and tell her they were planning to adopt, that she was going to be a big sister. And then they would tell the rest of the family, but that was something that would come soon. 

Right now however, they were content to just be a family. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We done here!! 
> 
> and yes...i love the movie tangled so Flynn the dog was born 
> 
> thank you for all the love X

**Author's Note:**

> hmu in the comments and i will love you forever x


End file.
